Due to my OCD, a lot of things, if not everything in my life, is a certain way. The structure of every day is exactly the same and my routines and rituals could not be more rigid if they tried. Everything I do each day is exactly the same as I did it the day before but that is not in any sense because that is the way in which I like them.
Like many young people with intrusive thoughts, Jemima was petrified. Suicide seemed like a way out and we had to be vigilant as she attempted to try and jump out of windows and end it all. We were told that there were no hospital beds in our local area, so we gave the best care we could and thankfully her condition stabilised. Crisis over.
I am on the precipice of full time addiction and the glimpse I had over the top has scared me beyond belief. I came home with a plan of attack but that's when it became clear to me, that I needed to revisit my OCD experiences and formulate a plan that didn't so much deal with the addiction but addressed what had caused me to start down that road at all.
People put my bad behaviour down to the fact that I was a new mum and being a new mum can make you a bit bonkers. But the truth is, being a germaphobe is something I struggle with daily. For example, I will never, ever let you take a sip from my water bottle (as if!) and if you offer me your hand to shake, there's a good chance I won't take it.