I hope that your heart-shaped selection box doesn't give you the runs. I hope that this weekend you and your loved one collaborate on a magnum opus of love poetry that would put literary greats like John Keats and Mick Hucknall to shame. But, really, don't you think it's time we stopped enabling Valentine's Day?
While I admit that I don't have a huge problem with Valentine's Day as a whole and am quite looking forward to the plans I have with my cute man on Saturday, I don't agree that Valentine's Day should be the only day you go out of your way for the one you care about.
Why do I think Valentine's Day is ace? Well, because I see no harm in spending an extra day paying special attention to the most important person in my life. If you don't want to do the same, well your beef is probably with something larger than old Saint Valentine.
Living with the feeling that your life and existence mean very little to anyone at all can create a dangerous state of mind, only worsened by the idea that the reason for your loneliness is shameful. Those who are estranged are too often reminded of the isolating family myth - that everyone else in society is enjoying a functional and close family experience.
V-Day for women is all about one-upmanship: "I see your hot air balloon ride and I raise you a hundred red roses!" Unless your proposal was sung to you by a large Disney flashmob atop a mountain at sunrise, you've essentially lost at Valentine's Day. That £200 Pandora necklace is just not going to cut it, my friend. Better luck next year.
What will you be doing this Valentine's Day? Posting photos of the flowers your boyfriend sent? Inevitably, there will be an onslaught of such expressions of love shared on social media, labeled with statements like "My boyfriend loves me so much!!!!!!"
Are you're single and having a panic attack at the thought of being the only one not coupled up in a love nest on the 14th? If so you've been watching too many re-runs of Sex and the City. Here some good reason why being single is the best. Read on.
So you're engaged. Congratulations! And now you're both off on a rollercoaster of wedding planning to make sure one of the most important days of your life goes without a hitch. This is also a time when you realise you have a wonderful excuse for a holiday of a lifetime.
I found the statistics really shocking, but mostly as they seem to be totally opposite to my own experience. I was born disabled, and became a wheelchair user at the age of fifteen, yet I can honestly say I have never had any trouble making friends, being invited to social situations or finding love.
Forget everything you've heard in recent years about how to impress a woman on Valentine's Day. It's time to update your romantic gestures and tactics.
In our case, we have some neighbours who dug up their garden when we least expected it and thus dislodged a family of rats. Who could blame the refugees for scampering along the nearest branch available, straight into the cosy loft of the new family next door?
Fortysomething men are not a demographic that are particularly interested in me and I've blogged before about them wanting younger women so that they can a) fuel their midlife ego and b) possibly have children.
With its excess of parties, sweets and decorations, the dark and ancient Pagan festival of Samhain morphed into 'Halloween': the new Christmas. I think, in a similar vein, the bloody history of Valentine's Day's means it's becoming the new Halloween.
Stop and think about your bedroom for a moment. What are the main words you would use to describe your bedroom? A sanctuary? A Healing Room? A Mess? Perhaps it's "just a bedroom" and you are unattached to it.
I wrote a song for all my fellow woman who have to share their man with a team of virtual football players.
The most romantic day of the year is almost upon us. Whether you are single, dating, or in a long term relationship, Valentines should be a day we can all enjoy. Here are my tips on how to make this Valentines one to remember.