For the last four years, the superhuman athletes that will be competing this summer have been abstaining from any and all tempting behaviors in their quest for gold. And if past headlines of prevalent sex, cheating, and drug use (so what if they are performance enhancers) in the Olympic Village are any indication, there's a lot of steam waiting to blow. And with this summer's Games taking place in one of the party capitals of the world, you can bet they'll be hitting the town to celebrate their victories - or drown away their defeats.
But before you start fantasizing over bumping into Maria Sharapova at the local pub and wooing her with your obscure tennis knowledge, remember that you will be in the original land of nobility. These athletes, with their bodies sculpted like Greek gods and goddesses, will be getting the ultimate royal treatment - far from the prying eyes of the peasantry. Which is why we here at Party Earth are here to help. Because if you want your chance at showing Kevin Durant a few tips on throwing down shots, or seeing Aussie swimming star Stephanie Rice in something sexier than her one-piece speedo (hard to imagine), you better know where to go - and be ready to look the part. So brush off that snazzy sports coat or make a shopping stop at Regent Street, because here are five exclusive clubs in London where you'll need to look good in order to have the best chance of finding your favorite Olympic athletes.
Named after the king of cool himself, McQueen is an ultra-sleek nightclub and lounge in the Shoreditch neighborhood of London. Purple and blue hues pervade under the dim gold lighting, and deep black leather banquettes and sofas balance the rooms. Three separate areas provide the power players and swank fashionistas with a place to eat, drink, and dance, but the masculine coolness of the venue is topped off with the basement: its Thursday night burlesque shows and late-night DJs are famous for inspiring the sort of antics that would have made the legend himself proud. McQueen, with its crafted cocktails, risqué environment, and trendy clientele, will be a likely place to spot an athlete dressed to impress. Hopefully the rest of the crowds are distracted by the cabaret.
The Cuckoo Club
Deserving of its own Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous episode, The Cuckoo Club is where the city's finest throw on their Louboutins and little black dresses for a night of glamour. Competing with clubs in LA for its constant celebrity sightings, the Cuckoo Club will be a prime suspect for spotting Olympians looking to hit the dance floor. Make a reservation and arrive early to this lavish spot because the lines are guaranteed to be stiff. When you spot soccer star Alex Morgan inside and attempt to show off your moves, just make sure not to come on too strong - a penalty kick to the groin with her six-inch heels will hurt even more than with her cleats.
You might not look twice at this featureless four-story building, but within its upper three floors is an exquisite members-only club known for its celebrities, athletes, and affluent corporate-types that relax and socialize in its tranquil environment. By far, the highlight of the Shoreditch House is its rooftop. Perched on the roof are a restaurant/bar, a crystal blue pool, and even a Lazy Lawn - a garden area with lounge chairs and beds perfect for a sunny day tan while sipping on world-class cocktails. But if you aren't a member, how do you get in? Well, tough luck Chuck. Just kidding, there is actually an adjacent hotel next door, and guests are welcome to use the club. So book that room or be prepared to dish out a pretty penny if you want to talk strategy with D-Wade or share a Manhattan with Lolo Jones.
This Kensington nightclub used to be the hottest place in town, but over the last few years has become slightly more accessible to the common man. Fashionable socialites and celebrities still frequent the members-only club, but on slower nights, the pompous bouncers admit awaiting non-members - well, those that they deem worthy. The swanky venue becomes an energetic scene as the evening progresses, and Boujis is known to heat up into a decadent all night dance party. We highly recommend booking a table in advance in order to join in on the VIP fun - otherwise there's no way you'll be getting passed the velvet ropes when the bouncer has to choose between you or Swedish bombshell Josephine Oqvist in her skirt and stilettos.
Mahiki will be the best gamble for those looking to simply get hammered with some Olympic athletes and have a rowdy good time. The Polynesia-inspired club has two things going for it. First off, you don't have to be Prince Harry to get in - although he does occasionally stop by. Secondly, the place is known for turning into an animated blur of debauchery. The downstairs dance floor is alive on any day of the week, and the ripe talent mixed with the South Pacific flair will have you dreaming about your own From Here to Eternity reenactment. The upstairs lounge, with its tropical décor, serves up fiery displays of entertainment - oh, and your cocktails will probably be on fire too. The crowds at Mahiki tend to be young and trendy, so Olympic first timers will feel right at home. Look out for track star Melanie Adams, and maybe you can see how much bend she can put into that bamboo stick (I'm talking about the pole vault. God you're sick).
For more articles and reviews, go to Party Earth.
Follow Party Earth on Twitter: www.twitter.com/PartyEarth