THE BLOG

Taking Time to Reflect: The Importance of 'Me-Time'

05/03/2013 14:16 GMT | Updated 04/05/2013 10:12 BST

A friend of mine recently forwarded an article to me that was on the Sky News website which got me thinking about the way we Brits seem to meander from one moment to the next without giving much time to thinking, feeling, reflecting and learning.

The article touches upon middle-aged, middle-class drinking amongst women who grew up around the "ladette" culture of the 1980s and 1990s. Encouraged to drink in order to manage career related stress, many of these women are said to have gone on to become career women and mothers who have exchanged their beers for wine, and from drinking heavily in public to drinking heavily behind closed doors. In other words, they have become reliant on this vice, one that can destroy careers, relationships, and mental and physical health.

On the one hand you can view this as they have an addiction that they haven't managed to kick. On the other hand you can say that they are a product of our society, a culture that promotes the deadening of feelings, often to the detriment of our souls. Seriously. As a society we're beginning to behave like walking zombies, going from one stress to the next, taking little time to actually reflect on what is happening in our lives, denying our feelings to ourselves, thinking we should just be able to get on with life as we experience it, forgetting all the while that we are in charge of crafting the experience itself.

We allow the media to tell us what to fear; it's usually some OAP mugger, rapist or fanatic.

We allow the media to breed hatred by coining terms such as 'islamophobia' that create a problem that never before existed; anyone with intelligence can see how creating such a term because of a handful of sociopaths is wrong and actually breeds racism.

We allow the media to tell us that unless we are covered with designer labels and have large houses and flash cars, we are not successful or worthy; the result of which is increasing debt and consequently stress, relationship problems and a superficial society. A superficiality that is breeding factions of a younger generation of lost, narcissistic, consumerists. I feel for these kids, they're going to need even more help than the 'ladettes' in the aforementioned article.

As intelligent people living in a world with many distractions, good and bad, we need to take charge and ask ourselves which we wish to focus on: the messages that convey that we need to numb our feelings and our capacity to think intellectually, with legal and illegal drugs, or the messages that urge us to wake up and assume responsibility.

Taking time out for reflection, taking time out to work through your thoughts and feelings, is imperative if you want to live a happy, healthy, well rounded life where all aspects of your life are great, not just one or two. This is why some 'me-time' is so critical to your happiness and health.

I always urge my coaching clients to have 'me-time'. I also find that those that don't are those that take the longest to progress their journey from being dissatisfied with some aspect of their life to being fully satisfied and very happy. I also find that those of my clients that heed my suggestion quickly are those that walk and talk differently, have a new air about them, and receive compliments from their loved ones about how much better they are after just a session or two of working with me.

Do yourself, your partner, your family, your friends, your work colleagues, your neighbours and your community a favour; have some me-time. Tap into your thoughts and feelings. They ultimately drive your behaviour, your actions. Get into the driving seat of your life's journey, or be led by others who want to lead you towards their objectives, many of whom don't care much for your health, happiness and goals as they are too busy luring you towards their own.

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