Troubling Visits From The Past

26/08/2016 13:50

We are after all, only human, there are things that we experienced, have happen, let happen, had done to us, whatever it may be. Although you may have 'dealt' with it, generally speaking, some of these experiences have a way of rearing their ugly head from time to time.

At the point of the troubled visit...what do you do?

I guess the answer to this question depends on what that troubled visitor is all about and who you are as a person. You see, resilience varies from experience to experience and from person to person, so each one of us could potentially deal with the same experience in a very different way, it's all to do with your 'map' of your world. Your values, beliefs, your environment i.e. family, friends, upbringing, community...all of it will have some influence on how you respond to the experience itself and how that experience will affect you going forward.

Let's face it, you really don't want an undesirable memory to come back to haunt you in the present.

I know you may at this point be thinking about a very specific experience that does visit you, probably at the most inopportune times. Where does this memory reside? And what is it that triggers it to return, sometimes, it just makes your heart skip...a fleeting visit from an unwanted memory. Other times with such gusto that you feel every emotion you felt that day, smell every scent from the day, sense the surroundings as they were that day, re-experiencing it all; it controls your thoughts and actions, even though you know it's completely unreasonable to act on emotions stirred by a mere memory, right? For some it can cause havoc in their work, relationships and their lives in general.

You have to first see that it is not the memory that is the issue; it is your response to that's where work needs to begin. How on earth can you deal with this thing? Take control of it? Eradicate it altogether?

You have numerous options...

• Psychotherapy
• Counselling
• Gestalt Therapy

The list goes on, there are so many different options, as an NLP practitioner myself; I can only comment on the NLP therapies that have been tried, tested and proved successful. The length of therapy is dependent a variety of factors so it will be different for different individuals, that's what I love about NLP it's all about you and fitting things around who you are and how you respond.

There are many NLP approaches that can help clients to deal with any type of trauma re-experiencing; what works for you may not be the same as what works for another person.

The message I want to give to you today is, that you are not alone in having this troubling visitor pop its head up from time to time. I also want you to know that you do not have to live with it indefinitely, there is a way of dealing with this and taking control.

Here's a useful link around dealing with traumatic experiences

Start taking back control...

By paying this unwanted visitor attention and dwelling on the emotions and thoughts this visitor evokes in you, you are feeding it, you don't want it, you don't like it but you are feeding it. You know what happens when you feed unwanted visitors...they will come back time and time again.
When crap happens...yes it happens to us all, I always say and believe it will pass, I say it out, "it will pass" and it does, with minimum damage, but what of dealing with something that is already in the past?

Well it needs to pass, so you need to remind yourself it is IN THE PAST, you left that behind some time ago. Tell yourself it's in the past, remind yourself of that, how? Believe it when you tell yourself, tell yourself often and when out of public ear shot, say it out loud, your brain needs to believe it too.

Know Thy Enemy

1. Carry a notebook around with you or make notes on your phone, iPad whatever means you use to make your notes.
2. Start to notice what triggers this re-experience for you. Triggers can be a word, a sound, a smell, a place, anything at all that your brain has associated with that experience when it originally happened
3. What happens before you get to re-experience what has gone by?
4. Notice what happens during the visit
5. Notice what happens after the visit
6. Write it all down

Once you know the triggers (there may be more than one); you can start to take control by noticing it coming and stopping, or at least reducing the thoughts, symptoms of that trigger. Knowing the triggers can help to create a starting point for your therapy sessions too, which ever approach you choose.

I hope this has helped a little, the rest is for you to decide where you want to take this personal journey, if it's life affecting, I would strongly recommend you research the therapies available in more depth and choose something that 'feels' right for you.

If you want to discuss your needs and see if NLP is for you, I highly recommend that you book your free consultation today.