09/03/2010 14:39 GMT | Updated 22/05/2015 10:12 BST

Diary Of A 5-Year-Old: Hairy Lips And Swimming


On Fridays we go swimming. I'm still learning it. We have a swimming teacher called Malcolm. He's really nice but he looks a bit funny because he's got three eyebrows on his face. Mummy says the bottom one is called a mustache but it looks exactly like the ones over his eyes. Honest it does. We read a story once in kindergarten about Yetis. I think Malcolm looks like a yeti who shaved but forgot a bit on his mouth. Emily says it's to keep his lip warm when he gets out of the water.

Swimming is brill. I used to have arm bands like orange balloons but Malcolm says I don't need them anymore. It's scary without arm bands. You're not allowed to stop moving your arms or your legs or you sink under the water. That's bad because you can't breathe under water. Unless you're a fish. Or an octopus.

Sometimes mummy goes swimming too with Emily's mummy. They don't have to wear arm bands either. Emily says her mummy swims a lot because she wants to be thinner. But I don't think that is going to work because whales swim all the time and they are massive!

Emily's brother got a special badge to sow on his trunks for swimming with his pajamas on. I think that's stupid though. Maybe he doesn't have any swimming trunks. Sometimes when I don't get dressed quickly enough in the mornings mummy tells me if I don't hurry up I'll have to go to kindergarten with my pajamas on. Maybe Emily's brother is always too slow on Fridays.

I want a badge on my costume for swimming too.

Don't want to swim in my pajamas though.