13/09/2010 19:25 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 06:12 BST

Achtung Baby Or STOP Feeding My Child Sweets!

Finje, to my despair, is not a good eater.

She eyes anything vaguely vegetable with skepticism and pokes it around with her fork a bit before announcing she doesn't like it. If persuaded to try a morsel, she contorts her features into something resembling a cross between Shrek and Rocky Balboa before a dramatic swallow and a drink of water.

She's such a drama queen. Any casual observer would be forgiven for thinking she had just been force fed with a rancid lemon.

In an effort to save what remnants of sanity I have remaining, I have a new tactic. No more pleading, no more high blood pressure, no more "You will sit there until you have eaten it!". It's simple now. You eat sensibly, you get to enjoy occasional sweets. You don't, the Gummi Bear jar stays closed and somewhere very high up and hidden. Possibly locked.

It's not working.

But that wasn't my point. I do admit to a slight obsession when it comes to my child and sweets. Whilst Finje is not denied the odd candy coated tooth rotter, I try to limit them as much as possible. My plight is however hindered, nay kiboshed by the brow-beating bulk of intimidation that is the "German Oma".

Something happens to women of a certain age here in Germany. They hit the menopause and with it lose any logical motherly instincts they might have had and metamorphose into Willy Wonka.

Since when and in which universe is it deemed "in Ordnung" for a child to be given free reign when it comes to confectionery? You can't blame the child. There is really no need to channel your inner four-year-old to see why they don't know when they have had enough. So is it unreasonable (I can feel a rant coming on here so be warned) to expect fully grown adults to restrict the treats to say, something less that a full packet of chocolate biscuits or a whole bar of chocolate? Not only that, any attempt to subtly suggest that may be slightly too much is met with a scolding look, more often than not followed up by accusations of being an über strict mother!

Germans generally don't do subtle.

It's a clear cut case of "you can't have it all". I love the directness of the Germans. When it comes to telling me I'm too strict though, I'm drawing a big, fat line.

Rant over.

Am I wrong?