18/02/2011 07:51 GMT | Updated 22/05/2015 06:12 BST

Let It Go 101

Pregnant woman patting her bump Like many pregnant mums, Dannii struggled with not feeling in control. PA

While you're hell bent on self-improvement in this month of new resolutions, take a few moments to cut yourself a break. I think it's so easy for today's women to get swamped juggling the demands of work, family, children and day-to-day life and probably the most important lesson I've learned since I had Ethan is the importance of letting it go.

Lots of people told me I'd learn to let go when I had a child. That I'd learn that if something's not done, it's not done and that I'd have more important things to do than worrying about whether everything was perfect. Yeah, right!

My education in Letting It Go came when I moved into my new Melbourne house (supposedly) three weeks before Ethan was born. I knew it was going to be a challenge getting settled in. It's one thing to move into a new house when you're heavily pregnant, but because we weren't moving from another house, we were starting from scratch. We had to buy every single thing; from big ticket items like the dishwasher and fridge to little things like a kettle and an iron.

So there I was, waddling around because I was huge, trying to unpack everything and not knowing how anything worked. Suddenly Ethan arrived 10 days early and I was off to hospital and when I came home it was like trying to see in the dark. I was just so fuzzy the only thing I was capable of was trying to get some sleep! Learning anything new at that point? Impossible!

That was the time I felt the absolute worst – just so out of control. I could see so much that needed to be done all around me and I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted the energy to rush around the house, move in, unpack everything, get excited about it, make it nice, and all I could do was sit there in a tracksuit with baby vomit down my front going: "arrrrgggggghhhhhhh I don't even know how to use the toaster".

I like doing things myself – getting on with it. It was weird for me to feel helpless and not able to do anything and to let other people do everything for me but I couldn't have got through without the help around me, especially from my parents and Kris' parents. It was a valuable lesson in delegation. Suddenly I had to lean on people and make the most of the resources around me. Now, if only I could learn to incorporate that approach into my working life...

The moral of this story ladies? You can have it all, just don't try to do it all by yourself.