23/02/2011 13:40 GMT | Updated 22/05/2015 06:12 BST

Diary Of A 6-Year-Old: Love Is Stupid

Love is just rubbish.

And I don't even like Susan Holmes. That Valentine's card I got from her wasn't even for me. Her sister delivers the newspapers and posted it through my door but she was supposed to post it next door to Peter Wardle. I know that because Susan Holmes came to my house and asked for the card back. I gave it back but I scrumpled it up a bit first so he would know it was second hand.

She didn't even say sorry either. She stood at the door with her sister when I went to get the card and they just giggled.

It made me feel a bit sad so me and daddy had a man to man talk. I sat in his big leather chair and I was even allowed to spin round in it (I'm not normally allowed to do that because it squeaks and drives mummy mad). Then he said something about there being loads of fish in the sea. I know that! And I don't know what that has to do with Susan stupid Holmes but I don't like to interrupt him when he is wearing his serious face.

He said proper love is like being shot with an arrow! But he has never been shot by anything so I don't know how he knows. Unless you count that time when mum opened the champagne bottle and the cork hit him in his ear.

Anyway I'm not bothered about love. School is hard enough. And when you get married you have to promise to be poorly and sick and have diseases together.

I don't fancy that.