27/05/2011 17:44 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 10:12 BST

Strop Of The Week: I Will Surely Starve!

Strop of the Week: I will surely starve! Getty

Strop Scene:

7.55am. Kindergarten starts at 8.00am. Bedroom to kitchen, to back door, to back garden, to garden gate, back to kitchen!

Strop Cause:

Unusual amount of diddle-daddling, foot-dragging, hair-twirling and shoe-searching, even for The Stropper. Not so much dressing, breakfast eating or teeth cleaning. Parental decision made, those who dawdle, despite being told a trillion times to HURRY UP, will be marched off to kindergarten with empty stomach.

Strop Symptoms:

Stropper dumbfounded, flabbergasted astounded at parent's extreme cruelty. BIG, teary eyes, trembly voice. Protests that we couldn't possibly allow her to go to Kindergarten without breakfast because she would surely "staaaarve!" All accompanied by a caterwaul loud enough to break the sound barrier.

Stropper taken to kindergarten without breakfast.

Post note: Following day, Stropper up, dressed and eating breakfast before I'd managed to put the kettle on. Result.

Dismay Factor Percentage:

The driver of the (full) bus, who was forced to stop right outside our garden gate to let a chicken cross (I kid you not) had a full view of proceedings and could not have failed to hear the screams of "Pleeeaase let me have breakfast!" Especially as I swear Stropper clocked his interest and yelled especially loud in his direction, no doubt angling for the sympathy vote and by the look he threw me, succeeded.

Expecting a call from Social Services at any time.

That all said, the dastardly plan seems to have worked: