When we heard Ashton Kutcher and Rafael Nafal were making an appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman, we're not going to lie - there was more than a little movement on our teenage crush-o-meter.
Then we remembered that Ashton is currently going through a face hair thing in the manner of Brad Pitt.
"I can also use it to store food and small change." Photo: AP
Seriously. Facial hair is a risky business at the best of times and, even if you can work it adequately we will always be wondering whether there's some sort of chin-disguising purpose to the whole tufty business.
Anyway, we were going to try to approach the situation with love and understanding (as we imagine Demi is doing, while casually leaving Gillette coupons in the pockets of all his trousers) and then there was a bow tie and a pastel suit.
Ashton, you CANNOT accessorise what you believe to be a Colin Farrell/Heath Ledger beard with Pee Wee Herman's wardrobe.
No. Photos: bauergriffinonline.com/PA
Here's Rafael Nadal to help you get over the sadness.
Hi! Photo: bauergriffinonline.com
Actually, that might not be enough - here's David Beckham: