At an alternative Baftas, War Horse would have picked up Best Costume Design for its amazingly lifelike pantomime horse costumes, The Artist would have won the award for Most Music, and George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Jean Dujardin, Colin Firth and Michael Fassbender would have wrestled topless on the red carpet before the ceremony began.
Still, you can't have everything.
Instead, here's the full list of who won what - and below are our favourite silly photos from the night.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen: the award for funniest Bafta picture is awarded to...
(Images 1-11, 13-15: Press Association; image 12: Rex Features)