21/05/2012 16:32 BST | Updated 21/05/2012 16:43 BST

America Vows To Help Europe, Just As Soon As Crisis Affects USA

The US President has told European leaders that his country will step in to help the crisis in Europe just as soon as it affects America.

“Unless there is a direct act of aggression towards the American economy, we’re just going to stand back and watch it all play out,” said President 'BHO'.

It is thought that America is most likely to start helping Europe two years after the crisis started - on what will come to be known as 'a date which will live in infamy'.

There has been some clandestine support for Europe in America, but in general a lack of interest in its crisis - also known as “isolationism” - is prevalent throughout the United States.

When asked about the European crisis in a national poll, 80% of Americans answered "What crisis?" while a further 20% responded with "Where's Europe?"