05/10/2012 04:59 BST

Nicole Scherzinger: 'Bulimia Was My Addiction, I Hated Myself' (VIDEO)

Nicole Scherzinger has revealed she battled bulimia at the height of her fame with the Pussycat Dolls.

In an interview with VH1's Behind the Music, the 34-year-old X Factor judge says she never told anyone about her eating disorder because she 'hated herself' and was 'embarrassed' about what she was doing to herself.

“I just hated myself,” she said. “I hated myself. I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life.

“It’s embarrassing," she added. "I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know.”

nicole scherzinger

And despite never getting involved in drugs, Nicole admits her bulimia was her 'addiction'.

“I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction," she said.

"It’s like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I’d come back to my room and I’d be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction.

“I did it everyday for, like, years,” she added. “Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself.

"You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I’d try to hide those. I think the girls could tell.”