I have been waiting for the letter for almost two weeks, we all knew it was coming but none of us knew what it would say. To say we have been fearful following last year's experience would be almost an understatement.
Then there it was, neatly folded in half and typed in Arial, with Twin Boy's name inked on the top right hand side.
"In this year's end of school play your child will assume the role of a star. Please bring in a white t–shirt, yellow tinsel and white tights or leggings."
It was not what we had hoped for.
Twin girl has a similar letter but she is a cow and must be presented in brown clothing.
Let me re read it for you...
"In this year's end of school play your child will assume the role of a star. Please bring in a white t–shirt, yellow tinsel and white tights or leggings."
Twin boy does not do tights or leggings.
Last year he was a pig, he wore his sister's pink t-shirt and some freshly purchased pink leggings.
My heart nearly broke with pride as I watched him and his 'chicken' sister dance and sing through an all star production of Little Red Hen, they were perfect, they sang with desire and danced with gusto, it went fabulously, until...
Twin boy unaccustomed to tight clothing suddenly found himself uncomfortable. Things were not hanging right so to speak. This discovery of irritation began when he had to sit in a deckchair for a period of time at the front of the stage. A
And like all men, he had an itch so he decided to scratch. He then realised the source of his discomfort arose from his leggings not really being designed for boys and he fiddled and played and rearranged whilst the audience fidgeted and gasped and muffled their laughter until suddenly, pop, there it was, out on display for all to see, free from restriction, free, free at last.
His relief was as obvious as my embarrassment as I hissed "put it away lad" from the crowd.
This year my son will be wearing shorts, loose fitting with room to breathe.
He will not be wearing leggings.
Jane is a working Mum of three and has great hair. One of these things may not be true.
Jane tweets at @janeblackmore and blogs at Northern Mum