Sometimes you just have to surrender to a stronger force - watching Here Comes Honey Boo is one of those occasions.
To the shops and the scales for June Thompson and family
This week, the family proved what a dab hand they were with the coupon element of shopping. There are people with economics degrees who could learn a thing or two from June Thompson's way with a budget - literally hundreds of dollars of savings, mostly on toilet paper, but hey...
The slight caveat to all this impressive cottage industry was that all the money saved was going to go down the mud-flap, by which I mean on more beauty pageant entry fees for Alana, not to mention her decorum classes. Or her dresses. Or the dresses for her pig to dress in as well. Just when it was all going so well...
But the backbone of this week's double bill was June's heroic attempt to lose weight, after the scales had screamed '303 pounds' at her. Aim: to be 270lb by the end of summer. I don't think Sugar Bear would even notice, so enamoured is he of his lady, as the pair set off for their eight-year anniversary dinner. Something their brood decided to mark in noble fashion - decorating the house with toilet roll. As you do.
Apart from this, it was all the usual back-garden fun, with the weekly belly flop quotient being satisfied on home turf, thanks to a hose and lots of screams. Much more wholesome and communal than many a sneering teenager with their console. Just one thing - how near IS that railway track? Someone tell me Glitzy the piglet stays on a lead when he goes for an oink outdoors...