From the age of 10 until I was 13, I had a mega crush on Backstreet Boy Nick Carter's loveably little bro Aaron. What can I say? His greasy blonde curtains and girlish face did it for my pre-teen self.
In recent year's Aaron's been out of the picture - although, according to the internet he still performs and does the odd bit of DJ-ing - but in the early hours of Friday morning he came back into my life with a bang. A kinda sexist and offensive bang.
Taking to Twitter and sharing his #TipsForGirls (this wasn't going to end well) Aaron began with, "A woman's appearance is a weapon to attracting a man - always look your best (neatness, clothes,hair ,makeup,scent,etc... #tipsforgirls". Wait, what?
Firstly, little Carter's quite frankly horrendous use of punctuation was enough to make my stomach churn. Was this really coming from the fingertips of the boy whose face (I had a poster - ripped out from Bliss magazine, of him above my bed) I used to kiss goodnight every evening of my tweenage life?
Second, what makes him think he has the right to tell us what makes girls fanciable in the eyes of men? Has he got some kind of qualification?
The sad truth of the matter is, if I was still 12 I might actually take some of Aaron's pointers to heart. I mean, being, "Trustworthy and be trustful- #tipsforgirls" is alright advice for anyone to give anyone else I guess.
However, "Be Approachable- men don't like rejection- a woman with an attitude to her look will scare a man away. #tipsforgirls" on the other hand. Well, that's just bloody ridiculous and spurred me to pen my #TipsForAaron.
1. Don't give tips to girls
Guess what? Girls don't like getting tips from men. Surprise, surprise they find it annoying, offensive, patronising. I mean, I could go on.
2. Learn the difference between you're and your
Hey Aaron, your (see!) ability to throw a kickass teenage pardy (see Aaron's Party) means nothing when you're (you are) SO not clued up on grammar. Please swot up on the fundamental differences between Y.O.U.R and Y.O.U apostrophe R.E thanks.
3. Don't call girls crazy
Your opinion became invalid when you referred to the girl of your dreams as a, and I quote, "Crazy little party girl".
4. Say sorry to Hilary Duff
Perhaps girls would take your tips more seriously if you didn't cheat on Hilary with - of all people - Lindsay Lohan! Yes it may have been like a bagillion (it's a number) years ago but I still remember Aaron. I still remember!
5. Get with the times
Is this the 1950s? No. So girls aren't going to listen to a man telling them how to look, dress, act and SMELL!
In sum. I loved Aaron. I don't anymore. What a douche.