11/07/2013 20:01 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 10:12 BST

Baby Please Don't Go: Reports Zayn Malik Is Quitting One Direction (And Why He Shouldn't)

BREAKING NEWS KLAXON! Apparently Zayn Malik is packing his bags and saying adios to his One Direction amigos *gasp*. Directioners throughout the land and across the sea are quaking in their 1D lovin' boots as speculation flies about the place like a carrier pigeon on acid.

zayn malik quits one direction

According to reports from the US the 20-year-old lothario is finding it hard hacking the fame game and is on the VERGE of walking away from the group...for good. Oh. Dear. Lord. What the heck does Zayn think he is playing at?

We desperately need to have a sit down with this young man and give him a two-fold telling off. First off, is his name Robbie Williams or even Geri Halliwell? No. We've all seen what throwing in the towel gets you; a flopped solo career a la Ginger Spice or a fairly successful one which takes a devastating nose dive which THEN leads to a failed attempt at moving to America then returning home to the antithesis of a hero's welcome and ultimately running back to Gary Barlow with your Let Me Entertain You tail between your legs - and breathe.

zayn quits one direction

Secondly, 1D will totally be out of pocket. The move would see all four of Zayn's band mates suffer financially after they recently signed a new agreement with Sony, tying them to a three-year and three-album deal.
A clause in the contract says if any one member of the band doesn't stay for the entire duration they all pay the price - we're talking millions.

Zayn's future ain't pretty if he opts to leave the band. Not only will the move induce a Robbie-like breakdown but he will be shunned by Directioners worldwide who can't stomach his boy band treason.

Surely if any of One Direction should jog on it's Harry Styles. He's got a career in his own right already and you can tell he just doesn't have the same level of dedication as the lesser known boys, Niall, Liam and, er, the other one.

In sum, this news cannot and MUST not be true, here's why...