11/07/2013 14:44 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 06:12 BST

Karl Lagerfeld's Cat Choupette Tells Us About Her Plans To Take Over Chanel

choupette karl lagerfeld cat
Yesterday Karl Lagerfeld revealed that his pampered Siamese cat Choupette has two maids of her own, eats at his dinner table and can use an iPad. Described by Chanel's creative director as a 'kept woman', Choupette - who was given to Karl by his model muse Baptiste Giabiconi - is no normal kitty, and now she's set up her own Twitter account. We were lucky enough to get an exclusive interview with Karl's kitty - and judging by her answers, she's just as outrageous as her owner...

When I wake up I... am immediately greeted by an overly-eager maid only to return to slumber covering my sensitive eyes with my paws. Choupette is not a morning kitty.

Before I go to bed... I catch up on some light reading. And by "light" I mean commonplace human opinions on fashion; a topic which they know nothing of.

A well-dressed man/woman... always has a cat as an accessory.

Women should always... groom their pussy. No implication intended.

Men should never...
attempt to pet a pussy with a gloved hand. Again, no implication intended you dirty minded human.

The best thing that has ever happened... was when I got my highest score on Angry Birds.

My guilty pleasure...I plead guilty to nothing.

In five words I'm... going to take over Chanel.

What people don't know about me is...I am Daddy's REAL MEOWWW-USE. Baptiste knows nothing of being a muse.

If I weren't doing what I'm doing today... I would be catnapping.

In five years time I'll be... secretly plotting complete fashion industry domination.

In 20 years time I'll be...even more curious than I am today (and you know what they say about curiosity and cats)

choupette karl lagerfeld cat

If you want my advice, always... wear fur (Faux fur that is. My friends at PETA would agree.)

If you want my advice, never... leave your chateau without a blowout.

Style is... the very definition of being feline.

Botox is... the best thing The Real Housewives ever taught me. We lunch together.

Heaven is... all white like my fur.

Hell is... full of dogs.

My mother... That's a touchy subject but thanks for reminding me of my abandonment issues. *Maid, please call my therapist for an emergency session*

The soundtrack of my a soothing blend of 1600s composers; it brings out my inner genius and inspires many a catnap.

If there's one thing that I'd can't Daddy's litter box rules. Litter boxes are so nine months ago.

There is too much... water in the world and not enough milk.

In the end... I always land on my feet.

The three things that I CANNOT live without... My two maids and my iPad.