11/07/2013 18:55 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 10:12 BST

Memo To Lady Gaga: Fabric Tape And A Sheer Bra Do Not A Dress Make (Nipple Warning)

Lady Gaga went out for dinner at Mr Chow in Beverly Hills wearing a dress made from what looked suspiciously like bias binding from the local haberdashery.

lady gaga bondage dress

Pondering the inspiration behind such an outfit - because that's what we do - we have decided that the look was inspired by autumn leaves gradually decaying until all that is left is a fragile web of veins, a reminder of our own mortality.

Which you then wrap in a wrestler belt, add a dose of visible nipple and some tights we're struggling to find any affection for.

Of course.