Ever read about a celebrity's life and thought "if that happened to me, I'd sort it out in such a different way"? So did Melvin Ryan Tan, and so he wrote Normal Person Vs Celeb...
CELEB SITUATION: Lindsay Lohan spotted partying for a second night in a week days after agreeing to a 90-day stay in lockdown rehab as part of her latest court case
NORMAL PERSON REACTION: STAY. AWAY. FROM. ALCOHOL. Anyone who has been jailed five times and wants to turn over a new leaf would probably be like, "Maybe I'll just stay in tonight". And if they had to hit da club, they'd leave looking sober-ish. Perhaps in sunglasses. Or through the back door if they were totes wasted. This is why it's hard being a normal person and watching Lindsay Lohan - nobody else would EVER make the same decisions as the actress-turned-lockdown-rehabber.
CELEB SITUATION: Rumoured single girl Katy Perry heads out for a post-award night out with girlfriend Kristen Stewart in sexy outfit.
NORMAL PERSON REACTION: This is precisely how you would go celebrating/mourning a SECOND breakup with John Mayer. Granted, a normal person probably wouldn't have K-Stew on speed dial, but they would put on something a bit racy, grab a couple of equally photogenic girlfriends and show their ex why he shouldn't have dumped them. Also, just to pre-empt a Katy-John reunion, can I just say a normal person would NOT get back together with John Mayer. Because he's got off with everyone (and the glint in his eye says he's not finished yet).
CELEB SITUATION: Victoria Beckham quits Spice Girls. Now, the others are rumoured to be looking for a replacement from a reality TV show...
NORMAL PERSON REACTION: If a normal person was in the SGs they'd be like, "Guys, we're totes flogging a comatose-to-dead horse! Let's go off and just chill with all our money". A regular Joe would not stand for the embarrassment of sitting through a reality show to find a new Posh (er, impossible). But since it might happen, a few questions: Were the Spice Girls ever officially reunited after that one-off Olympics performance? And what would be the new Spice be called? (Emeli) Sandé Spice? She could be the one that sings....
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