11/07/2013 20:20 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 10:12 BST

Normal Person Vs Celeb: In A Celebrity Situation, What Would You Do?

Ever read about a celebrity's life and thought "if that happened to me, I'd sort it out in such a different way"? So did Melvin Ryan Tan, and so he wrote Normal Person Vs Celeb...

lindsay lohan

CELEB SITUATION: Lindsay Lohan spotted partying for a second night in a week days after agreeing to a 90-day stay in lockdown rehab as part of her latest court case
NORMAL PERSON REACTION: STAY. AWAY. FROM. ALCOHOL. Anyone who has been jailed five times and wants to turn over a new leaf would probably be like, "Maybe I'll just stay in tonight". And if they had to hit da club, they'd leave looking sober-ish. Perhaps in sunglasses. Or through the back door if they were totes wasted. This is why it's hard being a normal person and watching Lindsay Lohan - nobody else would EVER make the same decisions as the actress-turned-lockdown-rehabber.

kristen stewart katy perry

CELEB SITUATION: Rumoured single girl Katy Perry heads out for a post-award night out with girlfriend Kristen Stewart in sexy outfit.
NORMAL PERSON REACTION: This is precisely how you would go celebrating/mourning a SECOND breakup with John Mayer. Granted, a normal person probably wouldn't have K-Stew on speed dial, but they would put on something a bit racy, grab a couple of equally photogenic girlfriends and show their ex why he shouldn't have dumped them. Also, just to pre-empt a Katy-John reunion, can I just say a normal person would NOT get back together with John Mayer. Because he's got off with everyone (and the glint in his eye says he's not finished yet).

spice girls

CELEB SITUATION: Victoria Beckham quits Spice Girls. Now, the others are rumoured to be looking for a replacement from a reality TV show...
NORMAL PERSON REACTION: If a normal person was in the SGs they'd be like, "Guys, we're totes flogging a comatose-to-dead horse! Let's go off and just chill with all our money". A regular Joe would not stand for the embarrassment of sitting through a reality show to find a new Posh (er, impossible). But since it might happen, a few questions: Were the Spice Girls ever officially reunited after that one-off Olympics performance? And what would be the new Spice be called? (Emeli) Sandé Spice? She could be the one that sings....

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