11/07/2013 15:01 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 06:12 BST

Woah - Mariah Looks Not At All Massively Uncomfortable And Awkward For Idol Press Shot

mariah carey

Do you think when they were taking this official shot of Mariah Carey for American Idol the photographer was telling her to just "act naturally"?

Imagine, if you will, that this was the shot that you had to take to Tyra during a judging panel on America's Next Top Model.

Do you think she would be more bothered about the claw hand or the pose or the expression?

I mean OBVIOUSLY there would be a lecture on smiling with your eyes (smizing, FYI) and she would do a non-specific foreign accent and then maybe Miss J would point out that Mariah wasn't fierce enough and that she needed to make her "booty" more model-esque and then Nigel would say that he wants to work with people who excite him and he's having trouble being excited even though she's really beautiful and then Tyra would be all "But then it's makeover week next week so maybe we'll reveal your model potential through a new haircut".

At this point Mariah would either be in the bottom two and then going home OR she would survive to the makeover week and then be the girl who cries and cries because Tyra wants to give her some crazy mohican with bits shaved out of it but Mariah has always had long hair and been in beauty pageants and all the other girls roll their eyes.

Then Mr J and Miss J would lecture Mariah on how lucky she was to have this opportunity and how she is being incredibly ungrateful by not trusting to the salon professionals. And then Tyra would be disappointed at panel and Mariah would be sent home.

Bottom line: This picture is the beginning of the end of Mariah's ANTM career. Now how the hell did we get onto this topic of conversation?