16/07/2013 10:43 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 10:12 BST

London Fashion Week Day 1: The Sermon

Praise be! Sing hosanna! It's London Fashion Week: God's favourite time of year, and that includes Christmas, Easter and his annual fortnight in the Maldives. As the Lord's sartorial emissary on Earth and MyDaily's bible-bashing blogger, I've been dashing from show to show in my black confessional booth (an Addy Lee with tinted windows) to bring you the view from my front row pulpit. Please be seated and let the sermon begin. Mwah, my child.