23/08/2013 16:43 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 10:12 BST

Don't Stereotype Single Mothers

I'm not usually one to involve myself in controversy online, however something that has me in disbelief at the moment is all the recent coverage, following a recent press release from the Centre for Social Justice, on the effects of an absent father on children in the UK.

Following this press release the newspapers report that, because my daughter's father is absent she is likely to end up with little education, abusing drugs and/or alcohol, involving herself in criminal activities and likely to become a teenage mother.


I am insulted at being stereotyped and my parenting skills judged.


Just because my child's father isn't around does not make me incapable of steering my child in the right direction; taking her to school every day, educating her on safe sex and that crime, drug use and excessive alcohol use being wrong.

My little girl is a mostly well behaved and polite little lady and I like knowing that I can take the credit for that.

However, what bothered me the most was when I was recently watching BBC's Sunday Morning Live, and people were expressing views that single mothers put themselves in this situation on purpose purely for financial gain, because the Government make it too easy for us to do so.

Some women have no choice in becoming single mothers for various reasons but I am not one of those women. I CHOSE to leave my child's father and to become a single mother. But the decision to become a single parent was terrifying but I won't regret it because I know it was the best thing for my child's well being.

From the moment most women find out they are pregnant they start to make choices and sacrifices to benefit their children, but I highly doubt that any woman could justify sacrificing their child's father for financial benefit. From being little girls we dream of getting married, having the house, the children and the dog/cat.

Why would we give up this and the many endless benefits of having a good man around the house just for a few extra pennies?

Everyone has their own stories and reasons for their circumstances. Perhaps these "researchers" should take these into consideration and should think about the potentially damaging effect two unhappy parents or some bad fathers could have on their children if they were to be a constant influence in a their life.

Perhaps they should think about this before making some of us single mothers - who work their very hardest, single handed and sacrifice twice as much to make sure their child wants for nothing - feel like we will never be adequate parents and wrong for making a choice we believe to be for the best.

Catherine is a first time, single and stay at home mum to her 2-year-old daughter.

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