Laser-Guided Beard Trimmer From Philips Is Bafflingly And Unnecessarily Hi-Tech

There are a few things that benefit from being laser-guided - mostly bombs, and other such deadly ordinance. So excuse us for being slightly baffled by the need for a beard-trimmer equipped with such technology.

But that is exactly what Philips have just introduced - the Beard Trimmer 9000. You 'erd: nine thousand.

So let's go through the Philips website sell point-by-point.

1. "Did you say “laser-guided”?"

Erm... no.

2. "Edgy. Symmetrical. Cool."

How many hours and out of touch marketing executives did it take to whittle down the English language into three words you think people most associate with beards?

3. "Put that finger away."

Four words that can be aptly used in a number of - mostly horrific - situations but have never needed to be uttered when trimming a beard.

4. "Eat your heart out, Q Mr Bond never got a gadget as good as this."

No Philips, there is no way you are going to convince us that a laser pointer on a razor is better than this lot...

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