29/07/2014 12:22 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 06:12 BST

Surviving Teenagers: What Parents Say In The Holidays (And What They Really Mean)

Surviving Teenagers: What parents say in the holidays (and what they really mean)Getty

1. He's got so many plans, I'm not going to see him all summer!
I'm going to spend every minute worrying where he is.

2. They're camping in a big group – safety in numbers.
None of them has any common sense.

3. We said no to the festival – he's way too young.
My son hates me.

4. They deserve a bit of a break after exams.
I think screen addiction is very serious.

5. You've got to give them a bit of freedom in the summer holidays.
If she doesn't answer her phone the minute I ring, I think she's probably died.

6. You can allow them to stay out a bit later in the holidays.
I am exhausted from lack of sleep.

7. I'm going to insist she helps with the hoovering while she's at home.
I live in a world of fantasy.

8. The summer holidays are the one time when they can settle down and read.
My teenager hasn't read a book for years.

9. I don't think he spends the whole day watching TV.
When I go out to work, I'm going to cut off electricity to every appliance except the fridge.

10. Have you noticed how the food bill goes up when they're around all day?
We have been visited by a plague of locusts.

11. Of course it's very hard for teenagers to get any kind of job at the moment.
Especially when they don't get up until 2pm.

12. We love our family holiday.
We know they'll be moaning from the minute we arrive.

13. Isn't she lucky – she's been invited to Spain with her best friend!
I am seething with jealousy.

14. She wants to have a few friends round for a barbecue.
I must warn the fire brigade.

15. You don't need to plan everything – teenagers make their own entertainment.
That's what worries me.