​25 Reasons Why My Child Won't Eat THAT

Children can be notoriously picky eaters. It's something to do with their taste buds not being fully formed yet. Or perhaps they're just awkward little so-and-sos.

But whatever you do, however beautifully you practise baby-led weaning and get them eating butternut squash, kale and quinoa at nine months, sooner or later they will start to rebel.

At one stage our daughter reached the point where she would only eat toast and Marmite. It's surprising how well one can thrive on toast and Marmite alone. If the Marmite marketing people are listening, I can give you some material that's pure gold.

After years of dedication, our daughter could give the Michelin judges tips on food criticism. No matter how hard you try to make a dish EXACTLY like the one she ate happily last time, there's always the danger that the face will screw up and she will declare that the meal you just lovingly prepared is DISGUSTING.

So, here are some of her objections to food:

1. This breadstick is too small.

2. This breadstick is too big.

3. I only like Nana's breadsticks.

4. This banana has got 'tangly' bits on it.

5. These crisps are too crunchy.

6. I don't like your sausages. I only like school's sausages.

7. This toast is too Marmitey (yes, you can have too much of a good thing).

8. It's too hot. (Followed 10 minutes later by...)

9. It's too cold. I don't LIKE cold pasta. Why have you given me cold pasta?

10. I don't like pasta any more.

11. This cheese is too cheesy.

12. This ice-cream is too cold.

13. This pesto has got bits in it.

14. I don't like egg white, I only like yolk.

15. I don't like yolk.

16. I'm not eating this. It's not on a pink plate.

17. These raspberries have got pips in them.

18. Why have you cut my apple up? I only like whole apples.

19. I don't like apple peel.

20. This chicken is too 'tangly'.

21. The broccoli is too green.


22. My dinner space is full up but my pudding space is empty.


23. This spaghetti looks like worms.

24. I can't eat my dinner now because I have to finish making a house for this clothes peg.

25. I've had enough but I'm still hungry. What else have we got?