It was all about the milk advert challenge rounded up with a pyjama party a la Dannii Minogue. Oh god. Here's Will Gore on the latest episode of Britain And Ireland's Next Top Model...
There's a saying in the animal kingdom, never work with children or wannabe models. Therefore the producers of Britain and Ireland's Next Top Model should be commended for finding a few animals willing to take part in the show. Last week Beau the pig, this week Daisy the cow.
If the latter hadn't previously heard of the dangers of working with aspiring models, then the poor heifer soon realised her mistake.
As she was being led up and down a dairy farm barn, playing her part in a milk advert alongside the BINTM girls, Daisy wore the look of a cow being dragged towards the gates of an abattoir rather than a film camera.
The girls were told that for the advert they would have to "wear the milk 'tasche'", which sounded a bit wrong, and just as worrying was Holly's mid-shoot cry, "I'm being violated by a cow!" The camera swooshed down to reveal one of the bovine extras was licking her backside – the BAFTA is on its way, I'm sure.
Holly, like most of the others, struggled with the advert task. As they blathered on about the positive aspects of milk, the acting was so bad it was almost Emmerdale. What none of the girls struggled with, though, was the bitching. They went at each other on an epic scale this week.
Holly, fresh from having her jacksie inspected by a farmyard animal, was at the centre of much it. She argued with Angel at the fairytale photoshoot, and we got tears from both of them.
Ellle gave the group a good telling off once all the snaps had been taken, but it fell on deaf ears. No sooner were they back at the house than the two Irish lasses, Holly (again) and Sarah, were rowing about the washing up. It was like The Troubles only with fewer bombs and more eyeliner.
With the mood low, it was down to Dannii Minogue to cheer everyone up. I think I'd favour a visit from the bailiffs over a Minogue Junior "pop in", but the models seemed happy enough when she came bounding into the bedroom.
Dannii hosted a "fun" pyjama party catwalk for the models, and never have inverted commas been more necessary. For the viewer it was about as uplifting as genocide as the wannabes skipped, gurned, and shimmied away in their PJs, creating easily one of the most cringeworthy segments in the history of television.
Dannii then sat them all down to hand out some sage advice gleaned from her long career of releasing terrible pop records and making annoying remarks on X Factor, before she headed back to the model headquarters to say things like "funkadelic!" and "glamazon!" She also said the word "wow" about 300 hundred times as she helped Tyson and Elle decide who should get the boot, and it was catching.
Tyson told us Emily's "wow sensation was going downhill" and when some criticism was then aimed at her for her errant left shoulder, it was clear the game was up.
So army girl Emily might be gone, but as the teaser for next week suggested, the war among the rest of the girls looks set to rage on for a good few weeks yet.
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