All your friends are going to Glastonbury and you're not. Before you start feeling super sorry for yourself, we're here to tell you to snap the heck out of it!
Sure, Glasto is great and Dolly Parton is going to be there but let's not forget the harsh reality of festivals - sleeping in a tent that smells like fermented cheese for six whole days, forgetting what it's like to be clean and having to squat in the most vile portaloos known to man.
One time, we saw a guy so off his face at Glastonbury he convinced himself that going swimming in the cesspool at the bottom of the loo drop was a good idea. True story.
First off you can revel in the fact you are not having to board a packed-to-the-rafters train with half your worldly (and fringed) possessions strapped to your back. You do not have to fight fellow straw hat-adorned festival-goers for a seat - and you should be grateful for that.
Secondly, you don't have to stand in a queue. Queues at festivals are horrible and you'll definitely have that bottle of Malibu you're trying to sneak in confiscated when you get to the front.
Thirdly, the weather is going to be terrible and mud wrestling is not your idea of fun.
If that's not enough to convince you then take a look through the gallery below...
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