14/08/2014 16:32 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 10:12 BST

How To Be Prince Harry's Girlfriend

C'mon girls don't pretend that it's not your single aim in life to become Prince Harry's other half. Luckily for you we've discovered the key rules you MUST follow to bag yourself Prince Charming. Don't worry there are only six.

Just make sure you nail these points and you'll be on your way to Buckingham Palace (and/or Vegas), laughing all the way. Ha ha.

how to be prince harry's girlfriend

1. Be blonde. Just look at Harry's list of ex girlfs - Chelsy Davy, Florence Brudenell-Bruce and now, Cressida Bonas. They're all blonde and if you aren't one naturally you better reach for the peroxide now.

2. Be posh, yah? But think parties on country estates and skiing in Verbier, not Spice Girls...

3. Know what polo is and understand the rules. Yes we know it was hard enough to get to grips with the off-side rule back when David Beckham was the ultimate catch, but you've got a whole new game to learn if you wanna be Harry's girl.

4. Understand that a boy getting his John Thomas out in Vegas is hilarious not cringeworthy but know that by no account are you allowed to do the same... So keep your clothes on. Oh and no Coyote Ugly-style dancing, okay? You're a lady as much as one can be a lady in Tonteria.

5. Have a title (duchess, baroness, lady, marquess, countess etc), be related to someone with a title or, at the very least, be Burberry model.

6. Be a fan of Mahiki, Whisky Mist, Loulou's, Tonteria and The Brown Cow. Harry loves them, plus if he dumps you, you'll be able to pick up a Hazza lookalike quicker than you can say have-you-got-a-title-hmmm?

Just don't do a Jay from The Wanted upon departure - think about it, did you ever see the Duchess of Cambridge pre-Royal Wedding looking like this?