14/08/2014 16:39 BST | Updated 22/05/2015 10:12 BST

How To Create The Perfect, Fail-Safe, Definitely Meeting Someone Hot Online Dating Profile, According To Wired

In order to own the most kickass dating profile on the world wide web, it is essential you use the following key words when filling our your bio: London, NYC, surfing, skiing, yoga, athlete, the ocean.

We all know how difficult it is to find love in this day and age, especially when everyone is just judging you from a blurry snapshot on Tinder. So, the folk at Wired created 25(!) infographics to help all online daters optimise their chances of finding love.

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They pulled together a mammoth amount of data from OkCupid and, "searching for tips that might help you master internet dating and find someone awesome." The results are, um, not at all helpful unless you plan on lying through your teeth... Or changing your lifestyle completely.

According to Wired, if you don't want to die alone it's about time you live in London or New York City, or at least have a small affiliation with the places so you can name drop them in your dating profile. On top of this you really need to enrol in yoga classes (read: buy a mat that you'll use once) and learn how to surf.

Maybe to increase your chances further you should invest in an ocean-side second home. Oh, and don't mention that you have any cats. It's okay to talk about cats in general, but type "my cats" and you're screwed.

Sifting through all Wired's data we did, however, stumble across a few helpful suggestions. If you're a gay man, pose outdoors in your profile picture as 48 of top-ranking straight women used them), but not so much for men. The stats also found that lesbians appreciate nice legs, gay men like arms, and straight women and men are looking for flat stomachs.

Duly noted.

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