Luisa Zissman has confessed that she suffered from such serious postnatal depression that she 'didn't really like' her baby daughter, Dixie, now three.
The 26-year-old Celebrity Big Brother housemate spoke candidly about the anguish of failing to bond immediately with Dixie, and the guilt she felt for not being able to live up to expectations and cope 'like other mums'.
"While everyone else was bonding with their child, I wanted to walk out the door and never come back," she told the Daily Star. "I felt so ashamed."
The Apprentice finalist, who has recently signed up to be lads' magazine Zoo's new resident 'sexpert', revealed her struggle with an extreme darkness which is in sharp contrast with her bubbly public persona.
Some days, Luisa recalls, the depression was so severe that she 'didn't want to wake up'. Luisa had separated from husband Oliver before Dixie was born and struggled with being a single mum.
"Being stuck at home with a screaming baby is very scary," she admits. "You feel so lost, helpless and lonely."
"I wanted to roll over and die," she confesses. "It's such a deep low."
Luckily, Luisa was diagnosed with postnatal depression three months after Dixie's birth and received help and support to get through.
Now, what she calls the 'black cloud' has lifted and she dotes on three-year-old Dixie. "I adore her, she makes me laugh so much," she says. Her Twitter is full of snaps of the two messing around together and having fun - is proof that happier days have now arrived for Luisa.
She has previously admitted that becoming a mum at 23 forced her to tone down her party lifestyle and saved her from going 'off the rails'. "Having a daughter keeps me steady and motivates me to work harder," she explained.