Purleese people on the street, take note of the below. Don't say it. Don't even think it. Thanks.
1. Are you pregnant?
Because she might have had a big lunch, not be able to get pregnant, not know she's pregnant, or quite simply might NOT be pregnant. Why ask? Let the lady tell you if it's any of your business.
2. Is it twins?
Say what? It might well be but with only 1.5% of births being twins the odds are against you. Bumps come in all shapes and sizes and they tend to be big hence the fact a baby is in there and it's erm, a bump. Why ask, why potentially offend? Not that there is anything wrong with twins or triplets just don't make a woman feel insecure about what is a beautiful time in her life.
3. You're small/big to be pregnant.
Yes my bump is public property. Please do give me your editorial comments on how big I should be/am. Oh yes and not why have a feel too? It's out there and you're a total stranger to boot.
4. You must be due soon?
Who are you, my gynacologist? How would you know? Even women who look to the untrained (or even trained eye) that they are due soon, may well have a long way to go. Don't make a sister feel bad OK?
5. So you're having a baby. Good luck for the sleepless nights.
Yep we got that memo. Yep we're anticipating the worst. Thanks though.
Bonus advice:
When you see a lady with a baby, best not to ask if she's pregnant again. The likelihood is she is not. Pregnancy weight takes time to go, amigo.
You're welcome.
What else should be on the list?
Vicki is an award winning writer/director and mother of two.
Blogs at: Honest Mum
Twitter: @honestmummy
More on Parentdish: Why are we so fixated on baby bump size?