Danniella Westbrook has opened up about her 'year from hell' during an emotional interview with Philip Schofield and Amanda Holden on 'This Morning'.
The former 'EastEnders' actress, who has revealed she is homeless after being forced to move out of her home in Kent, said she had been 'pushed to the edge' after she split from her husband of 12 years in January and started taking cocaine again after being clean for 13 years.
“It’s a car crash," she said. "And I have to say, I thought that nearly losing my life was the worst point of my life, but I think that this year has been the worse year that I’ve ever had in my life to lose one thing after another after another.”
She added, “I always think if you mess up, the best way is to put your hands up and say I’ve done wrong. There’s no point keep sweeping things under the carpet.
"A national paper sent me to The States and looked after me out there and made sure I had all the right meetings and doctors and things. But when I got back, the friend who was lending me somewhere to stay unfortunately lost that house so I found myself with nowhere to live. And my daughter’s friends, their parents, have lent me places to stay.”
Explaining how the local council have helped, Danniella explained: “They got us in somewhere within two weeks, in sheltered accommodation which is like a bedsit, which is where we are now.”
Talking about how the situation has affected her work, she said: “I’ve lost all my work. I was supposed to be in Torquay this Christmas in panto and as soon as I got exposed they called and said ‘we can’t possibly have her at our theatre’... and other work I had lined up, I’ve lost because I’ve relapsed.
"So because I didn’t have any work, and the work I did have lined up, money-wise I couldn’t go and rent anywhere privately because I had no funds.”
She added: “I get a small amount of money from my daughter’s Dad for her… and that’s it really. I’ve been really very lucky with friends of mine that supply me with a food delivery to the house to help us out.
"And I have been to food banks this year because we haven’t had any money. It’s been very difficult. Friends have pulled together and one of them has lent me a little car to drive so I can get the kids to school.”
Looking back and thinking about where it all went wrong, Danniella admitted: “Obviously the stuff with my marriage and us splitting up in January has a lot to do with it... and I’ve been on the downside of that really. Jody [her daughter] is amazing, she is like a breath of fresh air every single day, sometimes she is more the adult. She always has a positive for everything.”
She continued: “When things started to go really wrong for me a while ago, one of the first people to get in contact with me was Jeff Brazier and he as a friend has given me life coaching.
"Just as a friend because he wants to help, and he said ‘I can’t offer you much, but let me do this and try and get you on the right track’."
Speaking of the negative comments from people, Danniella said: “Its very easy to point a finger and judge somebody, and for all the negative things, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I’ve had over 600 emails from people on Twitter that I don’t even know that have said they’ve lost their home."
She added: “Being a drug addict, you do bring a lot of stuff on yourself… I did relapse earlier this year, and I completely admit that. But I was clean for 13 years before that. I messed up. I’m a human being.”
"People call up social services about my children to say they shouldn’t be with me because I’m in sheltered accommodation and to take my kids off me and stuff.
"That’s pushed me close to the edge to think that if I lose my kids, its not worth it. But as long as we’re together, we’ll get there.