I read a conversation on Facebook this morning that grabbed me so hard I just had to post it.
Sophie: My husband left me alone crying until I threw up.
Jess: But I bet you can now self soothe!
Sophie: I'm too scared to make a noise next time.
Jess: Happy husband, happy wife hun x
Kate: How inconsiderate of you to expect him to comfort you. I bet you expected him to clean up your sick as well didn't you? How utterly selfish!
Kate: And I hope he hasn't made eye contact!
Jess: I'm sure it won't do you any harm.
Kate: I know other people who have done it and it didn't do them any harm. Tough love.
Jess: Well my husband did it to me and I'm OK. And my cousin's son's neighbour's auntie's dog's kid's husband did it and their kids are fine too!
Sophie: He made me sit on the stairs for ages earlier too, because I was joking around.
Kate: He needs to show u who's boss hun. You got to learn xxx
Lisa: I know how you feel. I refused to eat my dinner earlier because I wasn't hungry, so now I'm not allowed anything until tomorrow. I keep telling my boyfriend I'm hungry but he just ignores me. I've started to cry now but he still won't let me eat anything. Sophie: He just shouted at me to shut up.
Emma: That must have been sooooooooooooo hard for him, tell him well done for being so strong ((hugs))
Sophie: I've just tried to open the door. He's holding it shut.
Kate: It won't do you any harm, and anyway, you have to learn!
Nahla: What? OMG! Call the police! That's abuse hun! He's treating you like you would treat a child!!!
Jess: Ladies, will you stop manipulating your men!
Sam: It's bedtime, Sophie. You have to learn to self settle, otherwise you will be too dependent on him and that's not acceptable. You will never learn to be a cold and detached adult if he gives in and cuddles you. Sorry but it's best for everyone.
Jess: You'll be fine. Oh wait..you're an adult not a baby. Shit, that's awful are you OK? What a bastard. I hope you threw up on him as you packed your bags and got the hell out.
Sophie: He came in. Didn't look at me. I tried to hug him he pushed me away and put me in bed.
Jess: And your problem is?
Sophie: He must hate me.
Sam: He's doing it because he loves you. Because it's better for you to go to sleep alone and feeling mentally and physically drained and feeling like no one gives a shit. That way you will sleep through the night, without disturbing his sleep.
Sophie: I'm scared.
Catherine: Sophie, be quiet and go to sleep. You're not scared, you're testing. Now shush.
Lauren: Well as long as you have eaten and been to the toilet, then there would be no other reason that your would need him!
Vanessa: Oh just shut up and go to sleep will you!
Sophie:But I'm hungry.
Vanessa: You should've eaten your dinner then!
Sophie: I keep waking up and calling for him. He must have left.
Vicky: Best thing to do Sophie is go to sleep. No one will come no matter how much you sob or call out for them.
Kate: It doesn't even matter if you're hungry, or too hot or cold, or simply need some cuddles. At this time of night husbands aren't here to do what they do during the daytime. You're just an inconvenience.
Rebecca: Sshh! Go to sleep or you'll get a smack.
Emma: He was prob at the end of his tether, girlfriends can be such hard work.
Sophie: He left me in my own sick, didn't clean me up. He didn't hear me be sick so didn't help me.
Emma: He must be so tired and frustrated.
Sophie: I tried to tell him I needed him. I just wanted a cuddle.
Sophie: Apparently I have sleep issues. That's what they told my husband. And I need to learn.
Sophie: I don't understand why the person I love the most doesn't want to touch me or look at me
I'll leave you with your thoughts.
To use controlled crying or not is an emotive issue for many parents. What do you think about this blog? When we published this article 'Why controlled crying made me a better mother', there was a mixed reaction from those who had done the same, and those who were appalled at the idea.