As you sit in your lovely warm home, fed, watered and generally being a rather lucky animal, spare a thought for one not so fortunate as you.
The damp squid.
This poor creature - despite never doing anything to harm any of you - is unfairly maligned and blamed for a whole host of social ills.
You see the phrase isn't "damp squid" it's"damp squib" - but that doesn't stop the blame being cruelly hurled around.
The Invincibles Documentary must have been a damp squid in terms of viewing numbers— RED TEMPTATION (@TheArsenalNote) February 26, 2015
Is #Broadchurch finale going to be a damp squid or a firecracker? Will soon know.— Peter Tickler (@ptickler) February 23, 2015
A lack of work...
@pangary hardly any work coming my way for ages. ...bit of a damp squid— The Cab Shed (@cryingfish59) February 26, 2015
Even the weather...
You see, "damp squib" - used as a term for failure is actually named after a dud 19th century explosive mining device.
But just won't stop people...
Okay... you all know I love BLUE !!! But Nash Grier's eyes are freakish BLUE, and simply a damp squid. pic.twitter.com/GkqfnedAxD— Blue Jacket (@jacksbluejacket) January 20, 2015
Protest was a damp squid but I'm glad I took part. I will not sit idly by and take this. Anything I can do I will #avfc— Amar (@AmarAvfc) January 17, 2015
And it's not the only mis-quoted English phrase (though it is the most).
We also have...
"On tenter hooks."
- random interview. Always sitting on tender hooks to see if he would mention me, or his old life. He never did, but there was always that -— Grace Evans (@SolitudeOfGrace) February 28, 2015
"Nip it in the bud."
ready for action, nip it in the butt— Amuuu (@PeltonAmy) February 28, 2015
"Champing at the bit."
"A moot point."
Question: What happened to the DINO Blog on the website?
Answer: When I joined Breitbart this rendered the website blog a mute point.— I TALK...YOU LISTEN (@DINOCOSTANEWS) February 25, 2015
"One fell swoop."
Having a bad night. Massage chair and iPod broken in one foul swoop..tempt fate and ask "what next?"— sharon mcmillan (@cootsmithson) February 25, 2015
"All that glisters is not gold."
All that glitters is not gold.....remember that— Michael Parr (@MikeParrActor) February 20, 2015
@KrisTerpstra I'm not adverse to eating crow, but I need something. I never thought I'd be bored of Outlander 😔— Kate (@Onapinandneedle) February 28, 2015
"Batten down the hatches."
"Find a pin pick it up."