A sandwich-stealing seagull and missing man found in his own bed were among the thousands of calls to a police force in a 24-hour period.
One caller dialled 999 to speak to the Queen, while a woman rang the police to complain about the airport losing her luggage and delivering it to her neighbours who were out.
In another call a woman reported the owner of a guest house where she was staying for refusing to cook breakfast.
The calls were highlighted by Avon and Somerset Police as examples of "inappropriate" use of the 999 emergency service, as part of a 24-hour tweetathon by officers showing what they deal with every day.
They dealt with 3,119 calls, both emergency and non-emergency, yesterday, and had 35 people in their custody cells by the end of the day.
The force said it had been a "fun and hopefully helpful" day.
One tweet told how a man rang the operator to say a greedy seagull had swooped down and pinched a sandwich from his hands in Bristol city centre and urged police to check nearby CCTV for evidence.
The force also informed followers about a less-than-subtle car thief.
They wrote: "Thanks to the car thief who changed his profile picture on Facebook to one of him sat in a stolen vehicle! #busted #ASP24".
Meanwhile, a man reported missing was found "safe and well" – in his own bed.
Officers tweeted the news after announcing he had gone missing.
They said: "Man reported missing in Bath - he has been found safe and well in his own bed #ASP24".
Another tweet said: "Man found with top off in middle of a road in Glastonbury saying he was 'basking in positive energy'. Was told to find it off road."
An officer also tweeted about a call from someone who complained about being splashed by a puddle.
One of the last calls to police was from supermarket cleaners who found themselves locked in a car park. The call was passed to the fire brigade.