07/09/2017 08:54 BST | Updated 07/09/2017 08:54 BST

21 Realities Of Two Under Two

If toddlers are cute and babies are cuter combining the two would be cuteness overload Right?



21 Realities Of Owning Two Under Two.

#21 He who cries the loudest wins.

#20 You can't have anything nice -at least for the next 18 years. Anything nice, precious, expensive or special will get destroyed. Babies, especially toddlers have a sixth sense for objects of importance and make it their sole mission to break, stain or demolish anything you love.

#19 Even the most organized, clean and neurotically obsessive parents will feel like their home and life is in complete dire straits.

#18 You wonder why you even bother cleaning, showering or doing anything that requires regular maintenance after all as it's only a matter of time before everything becomes unhinged again.

#17 Your once proud and contributing recycling bin now only consists of dirty nappies and burnt crockery.

#16 You look in the mirror and see an elderly person staring back - you realize the stress and sacrifice of raising two children has aged you significantly - you contemplate surgery. Dreams and ambitions come plummeting to a halt after the doctor gives you a quote you can't afford. The children look great in their new Bugaboo stroller - it seemed like a necessity at the time but it's just cost you your youth.

#15 You feel like a free woman when they're both asleep at the same time.

#14 You've learnt to master the art of time management, though there's nothing manageable about juggling two children, a heavily curated Instagram (that's a sharp contrast of your reality) and your morning coffee.

#13 Your phone conversations are abbreviated and your friends don't get offended if you simply hang up.

#12 The eldest will use the youngest as a human experiment if you will, treating her as more of a toy or a source of entertainment than an actual human being.


#11 You don't get invited anywhere because people just assume you're busy.

#10 If you do get invited out you spend the whole time feeling guilty and wishing you were at home in your pajamas with the two little monsters.

#9 You've contemplated moving you and your family back into your parents' house because you know the pros of being under their roof far outweigh the cons.

#8 You "selfishly" find yourself questioning your purpose, your existence and your meaning on a regular basis.

#7 You've slept in worse conditions in your fully equipped king sized bed than someone who's passed out on the street.

#6 You've asked a complete stranger at the airport to hold child number two whilst frantically searching for your passport and child number one.

#5 You feed two children at the same time, one by breast and the other by hand.

#4 You know all the names of Thomas and his friends.


#3 You know all the words to Thomas And Friends.

#2 You find solace in standing under the shower starring aimlessly into space thinking about your past present and future.

#1 Your life is chaos. It's bloody bonkers, an absolute mess, but a beautiful mess and you wouldn't have it any other way.