"You did what?" I said, gawping at newly single GBF (Gay Best Friend) as he recounted his Friday night activities.
We'd finished our tame night of local drinks at a reasonable 1am and he'd waved me off at the corner of my road. However, in the time it took for me to brush my teeth, peel off my mascara and fall into bed, GBF had managed to meet, suitably vet and later partake in a threesome with two men he'd never met before; one of which being a well known TV presenter with a Notting Hill postcode (the holy grail of gay hook-ups.)
"Manhunt.com." He replied. "You just log in when you fancy a shag and it tells you who's around and up for it." A quick picture exchange later and hey presto, the nights entertainment was secured with very little fuss.
I should probably point out that GBF is a hopeless romantic, but when boyfriend standards are high the single gay man need not resort to the 3am scramble round the sticky floors of Inferno's on a Saturday night to satisfy his... ahm 'carnal needs'. The idea, in theory seemed interesting; just imagine, a world without being asked for the n'th time what you do for a living, where you come from or worst or the worst if you 'come here often' (yes that's still done).
'But surely that's just internet dating?' you say. Well yes and no, in the Gay man's world, internet dating is simple and divided into two very clear cut categories - boys you date, and boys you fuck while for straights, online dating carries at least the appearance of, well, a date!
That online dating isn't taboo anymore is something of an understatement. With adverts for soulmate finding sites littering every billboard and magazine this could well be the next logical step! Or was it? I mean, it's one thing to end up in a regrettable one night stand after a few too many Sambuccas but surely another thing entirely to actively admit you're after no strings sex when sober enough to set up and pay for a profile.
As I pondered whether or not my antiquated views belonged in the dark ages with the kind of people who read 'the rules' (or the kind who de-eroticise their table legs with tiny skirts) I decided to take a look online and it wasn't long before I stumbled across a site that professed itself to be the 'world's largest sex and dating site' and the curiosity set in.
Do 'normal people actually do this?! If internet dating is no longer for girl-shy geeks and geographically challenged divorcees then maybe behind the bright red login page lurked a cornucopia of Christian Greys and liberated successful Samantha Joneses. I had to admit that I couldn't picture either of these characters sitting at a computer feverishly trying to think of a suitable screen name, yet here I was a click away from discovering what could indeed be the future of no strings, no bullshit sex. The doorway to twenty first century copulation.
One click later, I was in.
Her name was Kristie Kreme....
To be continued