(01 of19)
Open Image ModalScared to look like cheapskates, customers always order the second cheapest bottle on the wine list, so restaurants give it a higher mark up. (credit:Getty Images)
(02 of19)
Open Image ModalRestaurants hate email bookings as they are more likely to be a no-show and tend to be computer-literate and likely to review or blog about it online afterwards. (credit:Getty Images)
(03 of19)
Open Image ModalAll restaurant food will contain the chef’s saliva, as the same spoon is used to sample dishes. When presenting food they also use the “lick and stick” method to keep things in place. (credit:Getty Images)
(04 of19)
Open Image ModalSometimes the 'specials' are only 'special' because restaurants are desperate to get rid of them. (credit:Getty Images)
Grilled steak and beef gravy - delicious!(05 of19)
Open Image ModalClose-up of a juicy, succulent grilled steak accompanied by glazed carrots and beef gravy - or jus - to make a delicious, luxury meal, (credit:Getty Images)
(06 of19)
Open Image ModalStaff, ingredients and prep time have to be factored into the cost of a dish, with a pizza the quickest way to get ripped off with a huge mark up. (credit:Getty Images)
(07 of19)
Open Image ModalNothing matters more than getting a Michelin star. One star puts them on the map, two stars means the phone never stops ringing and three stars means they can charge anything. (credit:Alamy)
(08 of19)
Open Image ModalRestaurants know women are easier to sell to and they've committed to sit there longer, so there's at least a 'one to share' pudding to be slotted in there. (credit:Alamy)
(09 of19)
Open Image ModalThe business lunch is a restaurant's bread and butter but as everyone wants to be in at 1pm and out by 2.30 the waiter will dither over the menu so you do not notice the delays. (credit:Alamy)
(10 of19)
Open Image ModalRestaurants love side dishes as much as they love a vegetarian option or a bowl of soup as they cost pennies and can be sold for several pounds. (credit:Alamy)
(11 of19)
Open Image ModalRestaurants will re-use your half-drunk bottle of wine, serving it by the glass the next day. (credit:Alamy)
(12 of19)
Open Image ModalSeating the clientele is an art form, with VIPs and the pretty girls at the front, and couples put at the back close to the fat Russian men. Japanese businessmen come at the bottom of the pecking order. (credit:Alamy)
(13 of19)
Open Image ModalAfter it became more socially acceptable to order tap water, many restaurants introduced a £2.50 a head cover charge for you just to sit there, or started charging for the bread. (credit:Alamy)
(14 of19)
Open Image ModalMenus are designed for women, who are much more likely to book the lunch or night, and whose partners will follow. (credit:Alamy)
(15 of19)
Open Image ModalDon’t drink the wine if it is laid on its side under spotlights, as it has been stewing for months, if not years. (credit:Alamy)
(16 of19)
Open Image ModalRestaurants often keep some choice wines out on show and a few less choice ones below eye-level at the bar, so you might not be getting the house wine you thought. (credit:Alamy)
(17 of19)
Open Image ModalNobody ever checks their bill properly, and the restaurant could, and sometimes do, add extra items. (credit:WikiMedia:)
(18 of19)
Open Image ModalDrugs use is rife amongst workers, mainly cocaine. (credit:Alamy)
(19 of19)
Open Image ModalTop restaurants keep a little black book of incidents and some of the more exclusive will put a black mark against the names of rude customers.