Alcohol makes us all believe we are God’s gift to words - capable of crafting texts that make people fall in love with us, be our best friend and want to have sex with us.
The reality: you’ve either given them a solid reason to ghost you or worse, you’ve sent it to the wrong person.
Now Reddit users have confessed the most toe-curling/phone-smashing/life ending drunk texts their inebriated brains have ever created...prepare yourself.
Rex
The Spellcheck One
“I sent my then girlfriend a text that I didn’t spellcheck. Turns out it read ‘I want to kick your puppy till you scream’.”
- adltrs
The Cat One
“Admitted that I killed a friend’s cat with Anti-Freeze....I did not kill this cat, I only heard of this incident on that night. Needless to say we are not friends anymore.”
The Open Relationship One
“Was having a conversation with a girl I was seeing who wanted an open relationship, and setting ground rules. Accidentally texted my very conservative Christian mum in detail about threesomes, voyeurism, and exhibitionism.”
The Pubes One
“Photo of my pubes to my ex-wife’s mother. A nice way to break the silence of 6 years after the divorce. ‘These are my pubes, how are you?’”
The Landlord One
“’You look like a worm with welly boots on’ to a girl I don’t know at all. Then tried to get her to come over.”
The Ass One
“I sent ‘I THOUGHT that was your sexy ass’ to the printer repair contractor at work instead of my boyfriend. They both have the same first name.”
The Proposal One
“I asked a girl, who I knew had feelings for me, to marry me.”
The Absolute Worst One
“I was drunk at my friends house party. I found a phone on the floor, and decided to take a pic of my dick and send it to the person’s mother. Next day, when I sobered up, my mum asked me: ‘Why did you send me a picture of your dick?’”
Please drink responsibly. For the facts, visit drinkaware.co.uk.
Hangover Cures: Do They Work?
Eating Some Asparagus(01 of09)
The Journal of Food Science has revealed that this spring vegetable might be the cure for your post-partying pain. A study from the Institute of Medical Science and Jeju National University in South Korea tested the effect that eating asparagus has on hangovers. The results showed that amino acids and minerals found in the vegetable can protect liver cells from toxins. This process can help prevent nausea, fatigue and headaches. (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="15" data-vars-position-in-unit="25">Flickr</a>:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/49062413@N00/7509805008" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Helga's Lobster Stew" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/photos/49062413@N00/7509805008" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="16" data-vars-position-in-unit="26">Helga's Lobster Stew</a>)
Increasing Water Intake(02 of09)
Drinking plenty of water or other hydrating fluids is a simple way to treat hangovers. While it won't offer a complete hangover cure, it definitely helps. "Alcohol thins the blood, which is 70 percent water, so it can affect the fluid balance," says Pete McCall, M.S., an exercise physiologist with the American Council on Exercise. "Drinking water helps restore necessary fluids and can help the bloodstream and circulatory system carry nutrients and oxygen to the tissue and remove the wastes from a night of excessive consumption." (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="12" data-vars-position-in-unit="22">Flickr</a>:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/40221692@N06/7749343790" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="StuffNThings" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/photos/40221692@N06/7749343790" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="13" data-vars-position-in-unit="23">StuffNThings</a>)
Guzzling Sports Drinks(03 of09)
Here again, the extra electrolytes -- really just salts and sugars -- found in sports drinks such as Gatorade and Powerade might give them an edge over plain old water to treat a hangover. "Sports drinks will elevate blood glucose and can elevate sodium levels, which helps muscle cells uptake and use water, leading to quicker rehydration," says McCall. (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="10" data-vars-position-in-unit="20">Flickr</a>:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/85181010@N02/8211866124" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="caseylmphotography" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/photos/85181010@N02/8211866124" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="11" data-vars-position-in-unit="21">caseylmphotography</a>)
Loading Up On Vitamins And Minerals(04 of09)
Carolyn Dean, M.D., N.D., medical director of the Nutritional Magnesium Association, says that vitamin C and magnesium can help the body break down alcohol and eliminate it from the body, making these two supplements a viable hangover remedy. “One of the most absorbable forms of nutritional magnesium is magnesium citrate powder, which can be taken with hot or cold water,” says Dean. (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="8" data-vars-position-in-unit="18">Flickr</a>:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/35423169@N00/3197037724" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="SuperFantastic" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/photos/35423169@N00/3197037724" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="9" data-vars-position-in-unit="19">SuperFantastic</a>)
Sipping A Cup Of Joe(05 of09)
The caffeine found in a classic cup of coffee can give you a short-term boost, but its dehydrating effects could limits its effectiveness as a hangover cure, says Weiss. "Caffeine, which could wake you up, can also dehydrate you, potentially making the situation worse," he says. Though having coffee has only temporary and limited effects, it remains a popular way to initially ease a hangover. (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="6" data-vars-position-in-unit="16">Flickr</a>:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/29166380@N07/7379515562" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="cooper.gary" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/photos/29166380@N07/7379515562" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="7" data-vars-position-in-unit="17">cooper.gary</a>)
Knocking Back Some Hair Of The Dog(06 of09)
"Hair of the dog," or waking up and having another alcoholic drink, may be a feel-good hangover cure (at least temporarily), but this traditional college approach to ease a hangover really doesn't help. "If an individual is planning to be active, recreationally or competitively, this is not a good idea at all," says McCall. "Drinking more alcohol will continue to disrupt blood chemistry and hydration, as well as impair cognitive function and muscular coordination." (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="4" data-vars-position-in-unit="14">Flickr</a>:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/34083669@N07/7433681028" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="BethOlsonCreative" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/photos/34083669@N07/7433681028" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="5" data-vars-position-in-unit="15">BethOlsonCreative</a>)
Wolfing Down Greasy Food(07 of09)
A greasy breakfast for a hangover remedy may give your body a short-term boost. "Besides glucose, alcohol reduces the amount of circulating free fatty acids in the bloodstream," says McCall. "A breakfast high in carbohydrate and fat content can help to elevate blood glucose and free fatty acid levels in the short term." However, for the long term, it’s not such a good idea. (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="2" data-vars-position-in-unit="12">Flickr</a>:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/44304926@N07/7897645242" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="chilebeans" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/photos/44304926@N07/7897645242" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="3" data-vars-position-in-unit="13">chilebeans</a>)
Pushing Through A Workout(08 of09)
Of all the possible and popular hangover cures, experts say that this one works the best, improving circulation and pumping up your mood-boosting hormones. The only hurdle is talking yourself into doing it. If you can, McCall has this advice: "Exercising during a hangover should be limited to low-to-moderate intensity exercise, since the hangover will negatively impact cognitive ability, motor control and coordination." (credit:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Flickr" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="0" data-vars-position-in-unit="10">Flickr</a>:<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/78428166@N00/8149192477" role="link" class=" js-entry-link cet-external-link" data-vars-item-name="Tobyotter" data-vars-item-type="text" data-vars-unit-name="57b17fa0e4b01ec53b3fa542" data-vars-unit-type="buzz_body" data-vars-target-content-id="http://www.flickr.com/photos/78428166@N00/8149192477" data-vars-target-content-type="url" data-vars-type="web_external_link" data-vars-subunit-name="before_you_go_slideshow" data-vars-subunit-type="component" data-vars-position-in-subunit="1" data-vars-position-in-unit="11">Tobyotter</a>)
Getting Busy In The Bedroom(09 of09)
Here again, a little morning romp may make you feel much better to ease a hangover -- if you can psych yourself (and your partner) up for it. "Sex with a hangover may be tough for all of the reasons we have discussed," says Weiss. "I've never seen any data to support its use for hangover, but there is no harm in trying." (credit:Shutterstock)