A black woman has written an open letter to demand men stop trying to “tick having sex with a black woman off their bucket list” – as she claims they “fetishise” her race.
Filomena Kaguako joined Plenty of Fish to find “something serious” but has now been forced to delete the app after discovering that the majority of men had other intentions.
The 27-year-old claims the majority of men commented on her race within five minutes of speaking to her and that they “unjustly exotified” her body because it was black, which they saw as “new”.
The blogger and businesswoman claims Irish men especially “fetishise” black women because interracial relationships are not as common in Ireland as they are elsewhere and hopes the open letter and video she’s shared on social media will educate them.
Kaguako, from Drogheda, Ireland, said: “I have been in Ireland for 18 years and I’ve been trying to find men who don’t look at me and just see the fact I’m black. I want them to look at me as a whole person.
“I’ve noticed that Irish men fetishise black women. I think this is because in Ireland interracial relationships aren’t as common as other places.
“You would think we could be a bit more progressive.
“If you go to London or New York, it’s really common to see people of different races coming together.
“I shouldn’t really be making excuses for it as a societal problem. It’s not acceptable.”
She added: “Some of my friends have suggested it’s because [sex with a black woman is seen as] new that they’re interested. That’s why they are approaching me.
“It’s about being looked at [as a black woman] as just a statistic or something to tick off the bucket list.”
Kaguako felt compelled to take to social media for her rant after becoming tired of men mentioning her race within minutes of chatting to her online.
Now, she has even created a video to help men avoid offending black women while dating entitled ‘five things Irish guys should never say to a black girl on Tinder’.
Her open letter reads:
“Dear Irishmen,
There’s more to us than our colour.
There’s more to us than our looks.
There’s more to us than the body that you have unjustly exotified because you refuse to look at what we can offer you intellectually.
We have depth. We have character. We have value.
So please stop sexualising us.
When you sexualise us you don’t make us feel beautiful. You don’t make us feel special. You don’t make us feel unique. You make us feel like an object that you will eventually get bored of and toss out after having derived maximum pleasure from us.
Stop sexualising us.
Because when you sexualise us you are merely reminding us that you don’t actually see us. You do not see us for what or who we are. You see nothing more than a physical aspect of us. You see a carnel desire and someone with whom you want to explore your insatiable black girl fetish.
Stop sexualising us.
Because when you sexualise us we can’t help but wonder how much longer you’ll stick around after you get tired of the pigment of our skin.
Stop sexualising us.
Because when you sexualise us you are damaging our spirit. Tearing up our soul. You are instilling an insecurity in us about something that we should be proud of.
Stop sexualising us.
Because when you sexualise us you’re telling us that we will never amount to anything more than a checklist, a conquest, a tool.
It is degrading. It is diminishing. It is devaluing.
So why do you continue to sexualise us?
I am not a commodity.
I am not a car for you to test drive one day because you’ve come to the realisation that you’ve yet to try a black one.
I wasn’t brought to this world to explore your sexual curiosity and I do not exist to fulfil your sexual needs.
Dear Irishman, the next time you set your green eyes on me, remember this:
There’s more to me than my colour.
There’s more to me than my looks.
There’s more to me than the body that you have unjustly exotified because you refuse to look at what I can offer you intellectually.
I have depth. I have character. I have value, so please stop sexualising me.”