Oh Carol, This Is a Case of Hello Pot, Kettle Calling

Oh dear. Poor Carol Vorderman; what a storm of excrement she has provoked with her declaration in the Daily Mail that "46% of women wear clothes which are too big or too small."
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Oh dear. Poor Carol Vorderman; what a storm of excrement she has provoked with her declaration in the Daily Mail that "46% of women wear clothes which are too big or too small."

Launching a "national body census" for Isme, the website owned by mail order giant Marshall Ward, of which she is brand ambassador, she goes on to say that 73% of those (that's 73% of the 46% - do keep up) wear clothes that are a whole dress size too large or too small.

And, my goodness, haven't the Daily Mail readers spotted Vorderman's penchant for a tight-fitting garment. The woman renowned for her skin-tight clothing, not to say a-whole-dress-size-too-small clothing, has been well and truly outed as a hypocrite. Here are just a few of the comments (and none in favour to balance them, either):

"She's a fine one to give advice on sizing?...always looks like she's squashed into a sausage skin."

"Seriously? Carol Vorderman must be having a laugh. Her backside is always squeezed into something 2 sizes too small because she wears Spanx. Not someone I want fashion advice from."

"Is that not the pot calling the kettle black? Carol often wears outfits that are way too tight which is obvious as they are creased badly."

"And if ever anyone wore the wrong clothes sizes it was and still is Carol Vorderman."

What Vorderman - or Isme - are requesting with this census, however, is potentially quite beneficial to both the industry and UK women. They are asking for women to measure themselves and then submit their vital statistics to the firm to help it establish "the current shape of the nation".

And if that was to come to pass, it would be no bad thing. If brands - at least, UK brands - actually produced clothing that consistently adhered to a national standard, then a woman buying a dress in a size 12, would know that it would always measure the same at the bust, waist and hips.

And that would be a vast improvement on the current situation when most of us who are "standard" 12 may actually need to buy a 10 in some brands and a 14 in others. There is even one popular high street brand which cuts so generously, I can comfortably fit into their size 8. That practice is called vanity sizing, and is probably very welcome if you are in denial about your actual curves, but I doubt there are many women who are actually deluded into believing they are two full dress sizes smaller - especially when they can't fit into the smaller size in any other brand.

The whole "wearing the right dress size" issue would be a lot easier if all online brands offered more in the way of measurements, as SoSensational.co.uk has been campaigning for through its Lengthwise Campaign.

Isme, to its credit, does put dress lengths on its website, but considering they are making such an issue of women wearing the wrong size clothing, they don't provide information about fit, as some other sites do. At My-Wardrobe, for instance, in the information accompanying a garment, they will write that "The model is a UK 8 and is wearing a size 10", letting you know that particular garment is cut small, so you need to order a bigger size; Windsmoor lets you know they cut generously, so you need to order a size down. But Isme, despite this focus on the correct size, is shtum on the subject.

So, not just Carol V who's a bit of a hypocrite, then...

Carol Vorderman
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Carol Vorderman arrives for the European Premiere of the latest Cirque Du Soleil show Kooza, at the Royal Albert Hall in central London, Tuesday, Jan. 8, 2013. (Photo by Joel Ryan/Invision/AP) (credit:Joel Ryan/Invision/AP)
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Carol Vorderman at the London Gala Screening of Summer In February on Monday, June 10th, 2013 at Curzon Mayfair, London, United Kingdom. (Photo by Richard Chambury/Invision/AP) (credit:Richard Chambury/Invision/AP)
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British personality Carol Vorderman poses for photographers at the I Can't Sing Press Night, Wednesday, March 26, 2014 in London. I Canât Sing! The X Factor Musical is a new musical comedy written by Harry Hill and produced by Simon Cowell. (Photo by John Phillips/Invision/AP Images) (credit:John Phillips/Invision/AP)
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Carol Vorderman modelling the AW13 Fashion Collection for isme.com in Soho, London. (credit:PA)
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Carol Vorderman arrives at the British Inspiration Awards at the Intercontinental Hotel in London. (credit:PA)
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Carol Vorderman switches on the Mount Street Christmas Lights in Mayfair, London. (credit:PA)
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Carol Vorderman at the 2012 Pride of Britain awards at Grosvenor House, London. (credit:PA)
Pride of Britain Awards - London(08 of26)
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Carol Vorderman arriving for the Pride of Britain awards at the Grosvenor House Hotel, London. (credit:PA)
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Carol Vorderman arrives at the Galaxy National Book Awards, at the BBC TV Centre in west London. (credit:PA)
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Carol Vorderman arriving for the 2012 NTA Awards at the O2, Greenwich, London (credit:PA)
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TV presenter Carol Vorderman, this years winner of the Wizard jeans Rear of the Year award poses for pictures at The Dorchester Hotel, London. (credit:PA)
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Carol Vorderman arriving for the SHE Inspiring Woman Awards, at Claridges in central London. (credit:PA)
The 2006 Television BAFTA Awards, Grosvenor House Hotel - London(13 of26)
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Carol Vorderman arriving. (credit:PA)
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Carol Vorderman seen at the European premiere of Cirque Du Soleil Kooza at the Royal Albert Hall on Tuesday, Jan. 8, 2013, in London. (Photo by Jon Furniss Photography/Invision/AP) (credit:Jon Furniss Photography/Invision/AP)
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Carol Vorderman is seen at Princes Trust Comedy Gala at the Royal Albert Hall on Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2012, in London. (Photo by Jon Furniss/Invision/AP) (credit:Jon Furniss/Invision/AP)
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Carol Vorderman arrives for the Pride of Britain Awards in Grosvenor Hotel, central London, which celebrate heroism and bravery, Monday, Oct. 29, 2012. (Photo by Joel Ryan/Invision/AP) (credit:Joel Ryan/Invision/AP)
Britain National Television Awards(17 of26)
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Carol Vorderman arrives for the National Television Awards at the 02 Arena in east London, Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2012. (AP Photo/Joel Ryan) (credit:ASSOCIATED PRESS)
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LONDON, ENGLAND - JUNE 05: Carol Vorderman attends a photocall to launch her AW14 collection for isme on June 5, 2014 in London, England. (Photo by Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images) (credit:Gareth Cattermole via Getty Images)
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LONDON, ENGLAND - MARCH 13: Carol Vorderman attends a memorial service for Sir David Frost at Westminster Abbey on March 13, 2014 in London, England. (Photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images) (credit:Chris Jackson via Getty Images)
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LONDON, ENGLAND - MARCH 12: Carol Vorderman attends the 2014 British Academy Games Awards at Tobacco Dock on March 12, 2014 in London, England. (Photo by Anthony Harvey/Getty Images) (credit:Anthony Harvey via Getty Images)
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LONDON, ENGLAND - DECEMBER 12: Carol Vorderman attends the British Comedy Awards at Fountain Studios on December 12, 2013 in London, England. (Photo by Anthony Harvey/Getty Images) (credit:Anthony Harvey via Getty Images)
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LONDON, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 07: Carol Vorderman attends the Pride of Britain awards at Grosvenor House on October 7, 2013 in London, England. (Photo by Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images) (credit:Gareth Cattermole via Getty Images)
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LONDON, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 12: Carol Vorderman arrives for the GQ 25th Anniversary Exhibition at Phillips De Pury on November 12, 2013 in London, England. (Photo by Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images) (credit:Stuart C. Wilson via Getty Images)
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File photo dated 12/12/2013 of Carol Vorderman, who has said she is sad to be quitting Loose Women. (credit:Chris Radburn/PA Wire)
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Carol Vorderman sits in the Mercedes' garage during practice three for the 2014 British Grand Prix at Silverstone Circuit, Towcester. PRESS ASSOCIASTION Photo. Picture date: Saturday July 5, 2014. See PA story AUTO British. Photo credit should read: David Davies/PA Wire. (credit:David Davies/PA Wire)
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Carol Vorderman arriving at the BAFTA Games Awards 2014, Tobacco Dock, London. (credit:Doug Peters/Doug Peters)