'How To Make Me Come': Blog Features Women's Sex Tips On The Female Orgasm

This Will Teach You A Lot About How To Make A Woman Come
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The idea of pleasuring a woman can frazzle any person's brain (some women included). And it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I mean, we aren't exactly taught about how to get pleasure out of sex at school. It's always been about logistics and how not to get pregnant rather than the actual enjoyment part.

With this in mind, the authors behind Tumblr blog 'How to make me come' have published a series of refreshing anecdotes and experiences from anonymous women about their sexual encounters.

"We wanted to start a dialogue about how women achieve sexual pleasure; something that is often ignored, devalued, or misunderstood," reads the blog.

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"We felt such a rush from seeing a group of women opening up. It confirmed that this is something a lot of women are itching to talk about."

And while it's probably a relief for the women who are sharing their stories, there's a lot that both men and women can learn from it too. Here's what we've taken away:

1. If you struggle to orgasm, you're not alone.

In a post titled 'The Closest I’ve Cum to Cumming' an anonymous, 32-year-old woman reveals that she's never had an orgasm and invites people to ask her questions about it.

She also offers advice for others who have climax issues. She writes: "Be kind to yourself. Don’t focus so much on climaxing during sexual experiences try and focus on sensations, what feels good.

"Choose generous, loving partners who are patient and warm. Be honest with your sexual partners and let them know where you’re at. If they are good guys or girls, they will stick around and explore with you. There can be no intimacy if you’re faking it or performing."

2. Don't be afraid to say what you want.

In a post labelling all of the times she wasn't able to come because her partner was either "visibly bored" or was doing something generally quite off-putting, an anonymous woman reveals that the time when it finally happened was when her partner was "patient and kind".

"You made me comfortable," she writes. "Relaxed. Willing to be vulnerable. I fell in love with you. And then, all that made me confident. I told you exactly what to do."

Another, meanwhile, writes about how she'd made "sex for the man" and not for herself.

"I would be too ashamed to say, 'Hey, this isn’t working for me' because I would want them to think I was easy going and had had tons of experience," she says.

"I’d be so concerned with their finishing that I’d ignore my own. I would be too frightened to admit I wasn’t sure I knew what I wanted."

3. Hard, pointy tongues are not on.

"When you are going down on me, begin by just making out with my pussy. Just lay sweet kisses all over it, then focus on my clit. Be gentle. I repeat, be gentle," writes one woman.

"Circles with your tongue are great. I hate flicking. I see it in porn all the time and I don’t get it. Let your tongue be wide and slightly firm, I HATE that thing when a tongue gets all hard and pointy at the tip."

4. Patience is key. Orgasms can be achieved in anything between two minutes to an hour (or maybe even longer).

"It takes a while. Sometimes I’ll masturbate for 45 minutes before I get anywhere," writes one woman. While another says she can orgasm on her own in two minutes.

5. Oral sex is mighty important

"I dated a man for 6 months. He went down on me a total of 2 times and I didn’t orgasm once," writes one woman.

“Oral sex is the Mecca, it's the feeling to end all feelings," says another.

6. The only way to change things, as a society, is to talk about it.

"We shroud this type of communication in shame and vulnerability. First, we’re told from a young age that this is naughty stuff that we’re not supposed to talk about. In fact, we may even get in trouble for talking about it," writes one woman.

"And secondly, somehow the idea of a man being told what to do to please a woman sexually has come to be seen as insulting.

"LET’S TALK ABOUT IT. That’s the only way to change anything," she adds.

If there's one thing we've learnt from this collection of 70-something essays on the female orgasm, it's that we still have a long way to go when it comes to female pleasure.

But hey, at least we're talking about it.

Top 10 Female Orgasm Myths
Intercourse Should Always Lead To Orgasm(01 of10)
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Intercourse alone usually does not lead to orgasm. Only 30 per cent of women reach orgasm from intercourse alone. The rest need added clitoral stimulation to achieve pleasure.
All Positions Are Created Equal (02 of10)
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Not so! There are some positions that make female orgasm much more likely, such as woman-on-top, as it gives her the added clitoral stimulation she needs to reach orgasm. (credit:Getty )
Women Can Easily Reach Orgasm(03 of10)
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Pornography and Hollywood movies make the female orgasm seem effortless and straightforward. However, the truth is that most women need up to 20 minutes to become aroused and orgasmic, which is why foreplay is so important. (credit:Getty)
Vibrators Are A Replacement For A Man(04 of10)
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Sex aids can help to greatly improve your partner's sexual experience as well as your own. However, vibrators are not a replacement for a man, and they cannot help your partner achieve the same feelings of intimacy and pleasure.
Women Don't Like Quickies(05 of10)
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While most men can reach orgasm faster than a woman can, this doesn't mean that quickies aren't fun or that they cannot serve a purpose in your relationship. If you don't have time for foreplay or a full-on sex session, a quickie can keep you bonded and close for the time being.
Condoms Complicate Sex And Delay Orgasms(06 of10)
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Recent advancements in condom manufacturing have made condoms thinner and less noticeable than ever before.
You Can Always Tell if a Woman Is Faking(07 of10)
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Not always! Some women deserve an Oscar for their acting performances; however, it's important to remember that faking orgasm cheats both of you. Ask your partner if she likes what you are doing or if she needs a different touch to reach orgasm.
Women Like Only Soft, Gentle Sex(08 of10)
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Sometimes they do, but sometimes they also want sex that is more animalistic and wild. Explore that side of your partner's fantasies by asking her what she wants and taking the lead. (credit:Getty )
Women Can Easily Achieve Multiple Orgasms(09 of10)
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Unlike a man, a woman doesn't need a refractory period before she can be orgasmic again. However, it's not always easy to achieve one orgasm, let alone many! Hence, while some women are multi-orgasmic, not every woman knows how to harness that power. Practice makes perfect!
The Goal Of Sex Is To Have An Orgasm(10 of10)
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Don't think of orgasm as the destination. Sex should be about the journey and being in the moment. Stay attuned to your partner's body and the sensations of closeness and passion, and let your orgasm and hers happen when they happen. Remember, there is no "right" time or way to achieve orgasm. Every individual and every orgasm is unique.