Four Lies People Always Tell Themselves (And It's Time To Stop) | HuffPost Life

The fault really lies with truisms and generalizations that become popular sayings. Once people realize that they are not freaks because the above are not their reality, they can breathe a sigh of relief and continue living life on their own terms as best they can.

By

A place to share knowledge and better understand the world.

A place to share knowledge and better understand the world.

|

Gunnar Pippel via Getty Images

What is a lie you're tired of hearing? originally appeared on Quora - the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.

Answer by Susan Bertolino:

"What goes around, comes around." Unfortunately, no. There are people who are unkind, malicious, greedy and egocentric. Many of them do just fine. Maybe one of them hurt you, and you told yourself that they would get what is coming to them--life would even the scales. I used to believe it myself. However, I see now that there are people who are without integrity or compassion, and they sleep fine at night. They live well and have no regrets. So their payment for their various crimes may be in another world, or it simply isn't going to happen. Hoping for people to get punished for their evil will siphon off your energy, and stagnate your growth, as there is a good chance you will never see it happen.

"Time heals all wounds." No. Time heals some wounds. There are wounds that will never heal. You will just get more accustomed to them and learn to live with them. At best, time can help you adjust to having a wound that doesn't heal.

"People are good at heart." No. Some, maybe even most people are decent. However, there are people who are evil, and it isn't an interesting evil like a Hannibal Lecter, but what Hannah Arendt described as the "banality of evil." It is mundane and common. It comes from extreme selfishness, and a delight in doing what feels good, no matter how it hurts others. I do believe these people are in the minority, but the herd mentality of bystander syndrome can create evil behavior in otherwise decent people, who choose to avoid intervening when someone needs help. That person may be good at heart, but the act of ignoring a cry for help is not a sign of goodness.

"You always have family. " No, you don't. There are siblings who hate each other. There are parents who don't like their kids. There are people who feel no connection to their blood relatives, and find solace in friendships. The myth that family always have your back is just not the case, It is the source of so much unhappiness. Siblings get jealous of other siblings. Parents even get jealous of their children. Sometimes the blood tie is not enough. There are people out there who know that certain family members are among their worst enemies. Hopefully, they find people they can call their "tribe" when they meet others who have similar life experiences.

The fault really lies with truisms and generalizations that become popular sayings. Once people realize that they are not freaks because the above are not their reality, they can breathe a sigh of relief and continue living life on their own terms as best they can.

Also on HuffPost:

25 Easy Self-Improvements

Wake up early(01 of25)

Studies have shown that waking up early can make you more proactive, more optimistic, give you an easier commute and result in an overall better sleep. That seems like more than enough reason to switch up your sleep schedule! (credit:Alamy)

Ask for feedback(02 of25)

We’re all blind to certain things about ourselves that might need improvement. Ask your boss how you can improve your performance at work. Ask friends and family members if there is anything you can do to improve your relationships. Keep an open mind -- anyone you have regular contact with may be able to provide valuable insight. (credit:Alamy)

Reach out to people(03 of25)

It's never too late to make new friends or reconnect with old ones. Keeping up on Facebook is not enough. Take the initiative and make plans with an old friend. Make a point of meeting that person you find so fascinating. Or introduce yourself to the neighbor you've never met. Connecting with others is a great way to open up new possibilities. (credit:Alamy)

Keep a to-do list(04 of25)

Do you often feel like there aren’t enough hours in a day? Maximize your time by keeping a running list of the things you want to get done. Set your priorities and achieve your tasks one by one. Aside from being more focused and efficient, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment when you cross items off your list. (credit:Alamy)

Write a letter to your future self(05 of25)

Where do you want to be one year from now? Who would you like to be? Write a letter to yourself describing your ideal self, seal it tight and start working on becoming that person. A year from now, you will open the letter and see how far you’ve come. (credit:Alamy)

Get out of your comfort zone(06 of25)

If you never feel uncomfortable, you’ll never grow. Break tradition and try something new. Change up your routine. If you stagnate for too long, you’ll start believing you can’t do things and put unnecessary limitations on yourself. Your potential is limitless! (credit:Alamy)

Unplug(07 of25)

You may not be able to imagine a day (or even a few hours) without your cell phone, computer, tablet, mp3 player or ereader, but unplugging can be crucial to restoring your mental and physical well-being. Fit in face time with friends, spend time outdoors and relax without a glowing screen nearby. Ultimately, just a short break from technology can help you sleep better, lower stress and improve your posture. (credit:Alamy)

Let go of the past(08 of25)

Don’t linger on what could have been or hold on to old grudges. Make the decision today to come to terms with the past, release the baggage and seek to make the future better. Once you do, you’ll feel renewed and ready to move forward. (credit:Alamy)

Stop making excuses(09 of25)

It’s easy to come up with reasons why you can’t change or accomplish goals. Recognize your excuses, make realistic goals and push yourself to complete them. The truth is there are no excuses – you are in control of your own life and can make anything happen. Now get to it! (credit:Alamy)

Be grateful(10 of25)

What is the key to happiness? Many say that it’s being content with what you have. Forget what you lack and concentrate on being thankful for what you do have– there are so many things in your life to be grateful for. (credit:Alamy)

Watch your thoughts -- don't think negatively(11 of25)

Most people encounter negative thoughts regularly – the trick is driving them away. Anticipate happiness and success, and boost yourself up with affirmations throughout the day. Positive thinking is powerful. (credit:Alamy)

Surround yourself with positive people(12 of25)

Don’t let the negativity of others drag you down. Spend your time with friends and family who share a positive outlook on life. The people you spend the most time with will ultimately help shape who you become. (credit:Alamy)

Develop a weekly exercise routine(13 of25)

Regular physical activity is a no-brainer – it will help control your weight, boost your energy and lift your mood. If traditional exercise isn’t your thing (i.e. hitting the gym or running), try another activity that you find enjoyable. From hot yoga to club sports to hiking to rock climbing, there are innumerable ways to stay active and have fun. (credit:Alamy)

Read from a book every day(14 of25)

Although you may be perpetually tempted by movies, games and social media, don’t underestimate the pleasure that can be had from indulging in a good book. Reading every day will improve your vocabulary, hone your critical thinking skills and help you settle down before bed. (credit:Alamy)

Treat yourself(15 of25)

Many of our lives are governed by things we have to do, which is why it’s so important to treat yourself every once in a while. Denying yourself the things you want all of the time will only lead to burnout, so eat that piece of chocolate cake, sleep in for another hour or buy that shirt you’ve been coveting. You deserve it! (credit:Alamy)

Drink more water(16 of25)

You’ve heard it a hundred times before because it’s true – drinking water is good for you! Keeping hydrated will keep you from consuming unnecessary calories, keep your skin looking younger and prevent muscle fatigue during exercise. This miraculous natural resource also assists kidney and bowel function. (credit:Alamy)

Confront your fears(17 of25)

Fear can stunt growth and prevent you from reaching your full potential. Be honest with yourself and write down five fears you have. Then set out to tackle them one by one and work through them. In the end, overcoming them will make you feel empowered and will do away with any associated anxiety. You’ll also be more ready to seize opportunities that you would have previously shied away from. (credit:Alamy)

Embrace humor in your life(18 of25)

Look for the humor in everyday life and harness the many benefits of laughter. A good laugh will work out those stomach muscles and get your endorphins flowing. Humor can also help quell stress and physical pain. And don’t forget the social benefits – a shared laugh can really bring people together. (credit:Alamy)

Learn a new language(19 of25)

Broaden your horizons by learning a new language. It’s not easy to master a foreign tongue, but once you do, you’ll feel exhilarated – and have a great excuse to travel! Besides, learning a new language can make you more attractive to employers, teach you about another culture and challenge you to use some serious brainpower. (credit:Alamy)

Enjoy the little things(20 of25)

Take joy in life’s simple pleasures. Savor the taste of your food, appreciate the scenery and cherish time with loved ones. Ultimately, these small moments add up and can dramatically improve your quality of life. (credit:Alamy)

Quit a bad habit(21 of25)

Now is the time to quit smoking, stop biting your nails or gorging on junk food. Reconcile to ditch your bad habits and replace them with positive acts. Remind yourself why your habit is so negative, motivate yourself with rewards and set out to defeat that pesky habit. (credit:Alamy)

Get involved with a worthy cause(22 of25)

It may sound cliché, but volunteering makes a difference at organizations in need and does wonders for the volunteers themselves. Volunteers can learn new skills, feel a sense of accomplishment, have closer ties to their community and meet interesting, new people. Above all, you’ll see how you are making a positive impact on the world. (credit:Alamy)

Become a better house guest(23 of25)

Stop showing up empty-handed at the houses of friends and family members. When you’re invited over, always remember to bring a bottle of wine, a package of cookies or another small gesture of your appreciation. Most will take note of your thoughtfulness and you’ll never be short on invitations. (credit:Alamy)

Recognize your weaknesses(24 of25)

Nobody is perfect – we’re all flawed in some way. Be conscious of your weaknesses and take small steps to improve upon them. This way, you’ll be better able to focus on your strengths when it matters. (credit:Alamy)

Be kind to yourself(25 of25)

You can’t always control how others treat you, but you CAN make sure to treat yourself well. Boost your own self-esteem by acknowledging something positive about yourself each day. Do you have nice eyes? Are you a compassionate person? Fill your brain with positive thoughts allow them to ward off the criticisms and negativity. (credit:Alamy)

Related

uk lifestyle lifestyle

Suggest a correction

|