Woman's Review Of Dates On Yelp Are Hilarious: 'Handjob In The Theatre, He Took Forever And My Arm Got Tired. One Star.'

A Woman Reviewed All Of Her Dates On Yelp And It's Hilarious (NSFW)
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In what is probably the most genius idea ever, a woman has taken to reviewing the dates she's been on using none other than Yelp.

Natalie Walker, 25, decided to create an account on Yelp - which is basically another version of Trip Advisor - to review the restaurants and venues she'd been to. But with a brilliant twist.

Instead of actually reviewing normal things like the service, the food and the venues, she decided to review her dates instead.

As can be expected, the results are wonderful.

Walker, who is an actress from New York, explained on Twitter: "I am leaving Yelp reviews for every place I have ever gone on a date but just reviewing the date."

She was inspired to set up her account after hibernating on a Monday and searching Yelp for the best place to get some French toast.

Something sparked in her brain and she rolled with it. Soon she was reminiscing about terrible dates and writing them as reviews.

So far she's written a hearty array of hilarious anecdotes.

One of her reviews revisits a cinema trip where she gave her high school boyfriend a hand job and her arm got tired.

The experience was rated one star.

Another time she went to a musical and realised she'd never be able to love another human as much as the song "The Room Where It Happens" and, shortly after, her and her boyfriend of four-and-a-half years broke up.

The musical, however, still got a five-star review.

Here are some of her other brilliant dates.

Sex, Love And Dating Do's And Dont's
DO: Choose The Right Location(01 of05)
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While no one's denying the allure of aisles full of screws and hard wood, getting nailed at Home Depot can land you in jail. Just ask this couple, who learned the hard way that Home Depot's former motto of "You Can Do It. We Can Help" is a big, fat lie.

Oh yeah, don't have sex while driving a car, either.
(credit:Gettystock/Ethan Fedida)
DO: Pick A Human Partner(02 of05)
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This means no pool floats, no couches and, for God's sake, no animals.

If you, like this Texas gentleman, are under the impression that having sex with a horse will result in "a horse-man baby," you are severely mistaken.
(credit:Gettystock)
DON'T: Include Your Family(03 of05)
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Family should always come first, but not in the bedroom.

When this South Carolina man attempted a three-way with his girlfriend and her female cousin, the night ended with an assault charge. Don't try this at home, or anywhere.
(credit:Gettystock)
DO: Call Your Mom(04 of05)
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Not while shaking the sheets, obviously, but let her know what's happening in your life every now and then. Otherwise, you might wind up like this British man, whose mother reported him missing when he was really just having sex at a hotel. (credit:Gettystock)
Do NOT Let A Dolphin Assist With Your Child's Birth(05 of05)
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If you wind up with a case of the babies, go to a doctor, not a dolphin.

This North Carolina couple claims they traveled to Hawaii to partake in a "dolphin-assisted birth," which is also known as "hands down, one of the worst natural birthing ideas anyone has ever had," according to science writer Christie Wilcox.

Seriously, dolphins have been known to try to rape people, and disrupting wild dolphin populations with your screaming, blood-covered bundle of joy is dolphin-itely a terrible idea.
(credit:Shutterstock)