When someone’s been unfaithful, the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” often rears its ugly head, but is there any truth to it?
A study has uncovered that people who have cheated on a partner once may be likely to cheat again, as each time a person lies, the amount of guilt they feel decreases.
The scientists, from University College London, suggested this reduction in “emotional response” can lead to people becoming serial cheaters.
“The findings uncover a biologicalmechanism that supports a ‘slipperyslope’: what begins as small acts of dishonesty can escalate into larger transgressions,” they said.
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To test the impact lying has on our brain, scientists goaded participants into lying in order to win a cash prize.
Participants were shown a series of clear jars full of coins and instructed to help a partner, who was only shown a blurry image of the jar, to guess how many coins the jar contained.
The participants in group one were told they would receive a cash prize if their partner overestimated the number of coins in the jar, which caused many of them to exaggerate the size of the jar or lie.
The scientists noted that lying caused a response in part of the brain which is responsible for emotions - called the amygdala - but the response weakened the more times a person lied.
Although the study analysed the effects of repeated lying in general, rather than cheating specifically, co-author Neil Garrett said the principles could support the theory that people who cheat once are likely to do it again.
“The idea would be the first time we commit adultery we feel bad about it. But the next time we feel less bad and so on, with the result that we can commit adultery to a greater extent,” Garrett told Elite Daily,
“What our study and others suggest is a powerful factor that prevents us from cheating is our emotional reaction to it, how bad we feel essentially, and the process of adaptation reduces this reaction, thereby allowing us to cheat more.
“With serial cheaters, it could be the case that they initially felt bad about cheating, but have cheated so much they’ve adapted to their ways and simply don’t feel bad about cheating any more.”
"Ask yourself one key question, can I assume positive intent when it comes to this person?” says holistic coach Ekene Onu. This matters because in most good relationships, the answer is yes — and changing your mindset to consider that can provide you with needed perspective. "Even when your partner does something that impacts you negatively, if you can assume positive intent then your approach to conflict resolution will likely be different because you know that they didn't intend to hurt you,” she says. (credit:Tetra Images via Getty Images)
Laying Blame(02 of11)
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Constantly looking for someone to blame in the relationship when things go wrong can really add a negative tone to your interactions over time. "Instead of blaming your partner for something you don't like or upsets you, try a softer approach like saying, 'I feel upset or hurt when you leave your clothes on the floor after I told you that bothers me,’” says psychotherapist Jessica Marchena. “You can also say, 'I feel unheard and my feelings don't matter to you.’" (credit:Jupiterimages, Brand X Pictures via Getty Images)
Waking Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed(03 of11)
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Make an effort to start the day off on a positive note by avoiding morning nagging and arguing, says blogger Surabhi Surendra. "Morning is the most important time of the day and thus if spent peacefully and in a loving, thankful way can lead to a peaceful, happy day,” she says. (credit:Picturenet via Getty Images)
No Longer Sharing Your Dreams(04 of11)
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Couples often share their dreams with each other in their early days, Onu says, but don’t necessarily keep that up over the years. They might stop for a variety of reasons, big and small — but continuing to picture your partner in your future dreams can help you keep him or her in your resent, she says. (credit:Betsie Van Der Meer via Getty Images)
Becoming Complacent(05 of11)
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It’s natural that after a long period of time together, you fall into a day-to-day routine. And when we all live such busy lives, it can be hard to break from the regular cycle of work-kids-housework-repeat. But that can lead couples to feel more like roommates than romantic partners. "You can repair this issue by setting goals together for you as a romantic couple,” says relationship coach Ravid Yosef. “Try date nights, holding each other while watching TV, sitting down for dinner and speaking to each other — kid-free, logistics-free talk time or doing things you love doing together." (credit:MaxRiesgo via Getty Images)
Never Saying 'I Love You'(06 of11)
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Never saying “I love you”: Making a point of sharing your feelings, even briefly, can be a good reminder to you and your partner of why you’re in for the long haul when things are tough day to day. "This builds emotional connection,” says Marchena. "Even sending an 'I love you' text lets your mate know that you are thinking of them." (credit:Barbara Penoyar via Getty Images)
Cutting Out The Kisses(07 of11)
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It’s easy for little gestures like hugs and kisses to slowly fall out of a relationship, but they’re important to hold on to because they can help maintain your intimacy in small ways when life is busy. "I have been married for more than six years and we still begin our mornings either with a kiss or a hug,” Surendra says. "Nothing can beat this daily ritual." (credit:Halfdark via Getty Images)
Always Being (Digitally) Connected(08 of11)
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Just making a point of spending time together that doesn’t involve screens can increase you emotional connection by giving you more opportunities to really talk, or to cuddle without phones and laptops in the way. "Put the phone down after a certain time and do something together, even if it is just watching TV or a movie,” Marchena says. "And also make a rule that there are to be no screens at the dinner table. Or cuddle and be together without the screens." (credit:mediaphotos via Getty Images)
Doing Everything Separately(09 of11)
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"Shared experiences bond partners,” Onu says. You don’t have to do everything together — but if the only experiences you share are the mundane ones of running your household, then you’re missing out on a simple way to grow your bond as a couple. "Make an effort to have more shared experiences than not,” Onu suggests. “It gives you something to remember when things get tough.” Getting back to that can be as simple as scheduling a regular date night, signing up for a class together, or planning a vacation with just the two of you. (credit:DavidsAdventures via Getty Images)
Living In The Past(10 of11)
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"We're neurologically programmed to predict the future based on our past,” says Yosef, "and so we make a lot of assumptions about how our partner feels and how they will react instead of actually acknowledging what's happening in the moment and dealing with it appropriately.” Take the time to be mindful of your thoughts and what is really behind them before you just run on them based on past behaviour in your relationships or assumptions about your partner’s intentions. “Ask yourself, is this a feeling or a fact?” she says. (credit:Daniel Laflor via Getty Images)
Never Looking Inward(11 of11)
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"Self awareness is a powerful tool of success in every area of life — particularly in relationships,” Onu says. Take some time to think about who you are and what you need from a relationship. For example, are you an introvert who needs regular alone time to recharge and bring your best self to your partner? Knowing things like that can help your relationship by making it easier to explain your needs to your partner, or to understand theirs. (credit:Jupiterimages via Getty Images)