Now, married couples can apparently test whether or not they are still in love by asking each other two simple things.
University of Virginia economists Leora Friedberg and Steven Stern analysed data from a relationship survey of 4,242 couples that was originally conducted in the 1980s.
The original researchers asked couples two questions:
1) How happy are you in your marriage relative to how happy you would be if you weren't in the marriage?
2) How do you think your spouse answered that question?
Participants were asked to grade their answer on a scale of 'much worse' to 'much better'.
The couples then carried on with their lives before the researchers asked them the same questions again six years later.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, Friedberg and Stern found that those who thought they would be no worse off single in the first round of questions were more likely to have broken up by the second round six years later.
What was surprising though, was that those who over-estimated their partner's happiness were even more likely to be divorced after six years, than those who simply said they might be happier unmarried.
Only 40.9% of participants could accurately identify how their partner felt about their relationship. Men and women were equally bad at detecting signs of unhappiness in their partner.
Friedberg and Stern's research references bargaining theory - the idea that the more one spouse overestimates their partner’s happiness, the more likely he or she will bargain “too hard” and make a mistake.
Stern gave this example as an explanation: “If I believe my wife is really happy in the marriage, I might push her to do more chores or contribute a larger portion of the family income.
"If, unbeknownst to me, she’s actually just lukewarm about the marriage, or she’s got a really good-looking guy who is interested in her, she may decide those demands are the last straw, and decide a divorce would be a better option for her.”
Of the 4,242 couples, 296 (7%) were divorced after six years.
It seems the key to a happy marriage may be knowing how your partner feels about your relationship. And what's the one way to make sure you know how they really feel?
Ask them, pure and simple.
How To Make Your Marriage Last
Continue With The Excitement (01 of08)
Open Image ModalStop Trying To Change Your Partner (02 of08)
Open Image ModalDon’t believe you’ll be able to change a person or even get them to act more like you just because you’re married, Provda says. "Accept the fact that your spouse’s background and life choices have created them to be a different person from you even if your belief systems are in sync." Instead of trying to mould someone into your idea of the “perfect” person, remind yourself about his or her differences. (credit:Jose Luis Pelaez Inc via Getty Images)
Get Your PDA On(03 of08)
Open Image ModalYour love for your spouse shouldn’t be a mystery, so make sure to get in some public displays of affection when you can. Hold hands if you're walking through the mall or exchange a casual kiss after dinner. "Showing affection affirms the connection between you and your partner," Provda says. (credit:Digital Vision. via Getty Images)
Don't Be Afraid To Fight (04 of08)
Open Image ModalAvoiding conflict won’t help build the relationship, in fact it will just add stress, Provda says. "While you can’t be scared to express tension or face confrontation, never say anything intentionally mean or intended to hurt the other person." (credit:BestPics via Getty Images)
Don't Be Distant When Things Get Crummy (05 of08)
Open Image ModalBeing aloof can imply a level of deceit. "If you believe you have to shield part of yourself from your partner in order to be appealing, you’re actually creating low-level tensions that only work to erode the bond and your attraction for each other," Provda says. And yes, it may sound cliché, but honesty is the best policy. (credit:Daniel Laflor via Getty Images)
Remember, You're In It Together (06 of08)
Open Image ModalMake sure you share the important things, Provda says. "Marriage isn’t a 50-50 proposition. It is a 100-100 deal that brings a true depth of relationship through a depth of knowledge." If you're having a bad day, talk it out, and if something is bothering you about finances, the children or extended family members, make sure both of you can talk it out. "Doing so consistently will help build a connection that gets more complex and deeper as you go through life." (credit:Confluence Pictures via Getty Images)
Doubts Can Happen (07 of08)
Open Image ModalAfter the surge of romance and honeymoon phase wears off, it’s time to understand reality will set in. "It may be time to reassess where you, as a couple are, and what you are willing to do to make the marriage work. Then you have the choice to readjust the relationship or walk away." Staying in a unhappy and unhealthy marriage is never beneficial to either person, but giving up is just taking the easy way out. (credit:lisafx via Getty Images)
Remember Why You Said 'Yes' In The First Place (08 of08)
Open Image ModalSure, it sounds old school, but marriage really is about understanding your partner’s needs, Provda says. "You have to be willing to offer what the other person in the relationship needs in order to get their needs fulfilled," he says — and this should work both ways! (credit:Blend Images - Jose Luis Pelaez Inc via Getty Images)