And in "people whose legs look like they're being eaten by giant snakes" news...
O HAI, RIHANNA!
Look. She can wear what the hell she wants, but that doesn't make them flattering.
At this point we feel we should add in Jennifer Lopez as a mid-thigh-and-below point of reference for this critique - shapely AND snakey.
We are not sanctioning above the mid-thigh, though. Because there is such a thing as flogging a dead snake horse.