Weirdest Tinder Dates Revealed On Reddit: 'I Watched A Guy's Cat Die'

Weirdest Tinder Dates Revealed On Reddit
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Tinder, it's the dating app that's pretty much killed off romance as we know it. And here's the proof.

Internet users have flocked together to share their weirdest and, by all accounts, worst experiences after meeting someone through the dating app.

From STD encounters to brutal honesty that you wouldn't even get from your own mother, these Tinder experiences will have you in stitches.

Thank heavens for the internet.

"He made me watch his homemade rap videos and tried to like his own Facebook page on my phone."

"Perfectly nice date, 20 minutes into it, she says: 'I'll be honest. I know what I need in a man, and you don't have it'."

"Friend from class matched with my then girlfriend (now ex). He informed me of the match and proceeded to set up a coffee date. Instead of him showing up to the date, I did. I had the pleasure of watching my girlfriend freak the fuck out."

"She was lying about her age. And wanted a baby, immediately."

"My profile pic is a toilet. The first time I met a girl we actually talked about toilets for an hour."

"Met up for a coffee after having quite a nice chat over tinder for a few days. He sits down and says 'hey nice to meet you', then continues to pull out his laptop and sit there in complete silence for the next hour."

"I watched a guy's cat die. On our first date."

"Recently met this guy on Tinder, been on three dates with him. First date went really well until his car got towed. Second date went to his place, got drunk and banged, ended up with condom inside, proceed to freak the fuck out and had to go to ER. Third date he got me high for the first time, got way too high, freaked out again and start pinching his nipple really hard and speaking Thai. He added me on fb after that. 8/10 would go on date again."

"Went on the date, five minutes into the conversation he flips it to 9/11 conspiracy theories and doesn't drop it even after I explicitly state that the conversation is inappropriate. Told him later by text that I didn't think we were that compatible, cue 2 months of 3am phone calls where he pretends to be a furniture/renovation company that had problems delivering my order..."

"We went to her place, ate mushrooms and had sex. She was a biter, and it was like having sex with a giant spider."

"Went to see 50 shades of grey, got a blowie in the parking lot, got caught by a security guard on a Segway, ended up with chlamydia... I no longer Tinder. EDIT: I didn't know that you could contract it that way either yet a trip to the clinic proved it to me."

"I went on a date with this guy who I thought was pretty level-headed. We had dinner, coffee and said our goodbyes. On the date, he consistently spoke about Michigan the entire date. Michigan is better than Chicago this way, the people in Michigan are so much nicer than the ones from your home state, we are the smartest in the nation, etc. etc. etc. The only times he broke away from the subject of Michigan was to talk about how inadequate I was with my career, health and love life. He even said, 'I can tell you are trying to be funny, but it's not working'.

"Later that night, once he dropped me off he went on to text me saying, 'Hey, I enjoyed our time together, but you're a bit wider than I was expecting'. I understood his comment and decided not to reply back. Twenty minutes later, I receive other texts from him saying, 'It's OK, though! I would love for you to get bigger. I want to help you gain as much weight as possible. I love dating fat people'.

"To top it off, his last text was, 'You'll need all that fat when you move to Michigan'. Fuck you, Michigan."

"Met at a coffee shop, she's there early. I order my drink, sit down, she looks at me and this is her first sentence: 'Let's cut to the chase, I need a father for my 4 sons.'

"I got up and left."

Sex, Love And Dating Do's And Dont's
DO: Choose The Right Location(01 of05)
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While no one's denying the allure of aisles full of screws and hard wood, getting nailed at Home Depot can land you in jail. Just ask this couple, who learned the hard way that Home Depot's former motto of "You Can Do It. We Can Help" is a big, fat lie.

Oh yeah, don't have sex while driving a car, either.
(credit:Gettystock/Ethan Fedida)
DO: Pick A Human Partner(02 of05)
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This means no pool floats, no couches and, for God's sake, no animals.

If you, like this Texas gentleman, are under the impression that having sex with a horse will result in "a horse-man baby," you are severely mistaken.
(credit:Gettystock)
DON'T: Include Your Family(03 of05)
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Family should always come first, but not in the bedroom.

When this South Carolina man attempted a three-way with his girlfriend and her female cousin, the night ended with an assault charge. Don't try this at home, or anywhere.
(credit:Gettystock)
DO: Call Your Mom(04 of05)
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Not while shaking the sheets, obviously, but let her know what's happening in your life every now and then. Otherwise, you might wind up like this British man, whose mother reported him missing when he was really just having sex at a hotel. (credit:Gettystock)
Do NOT Let A Dolphin Assist With Your Child's Birth(05 of05)
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If you wind up with a case of the babies, go to a doctor, not a dolphin.

This North Carolina couple claims they traveled to Hawaii to partake in a "dolphin-assisted birth," which is also known as "hands down, one of the worst natural birthing ideas anyone has ever had," according to science writer Christie Wilcox.

Seriously, dolphins have been known to try to rape people, and disrupting wild dolphin populations with your screaming, blood-covered bundle of joy is dolphin-itely a terrible idea.
(credit:Shutterstock)